


better than revenge

by dotaeverse



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, College, Fluff, M/M, Slow Burn, University AU, doyoung sings, heartbroken Taeyong, johnny is the best friend ever, swim team captain taeyong, swimmer taeyong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2020-07-31 17:56:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20119222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dotaeverse/pseuds/dotaeverse
Summary: For Taeyong, captain of the university's swim team, the brightest way to save his heart and image after being unceremoniously dumped on the same day that his team lost a competition is this: date his ex's first love. It's effective, cruelty-free, and most importantly, it's not undignifying. Also, Kim Doyoung isn't that bad.





	1. Chapter 1

"He's a fucking asshole! I hope a truck hits him!" Taeyong shouts on slurs while almost stumbling on the pavement. Thankfully Johnny is walking beside him and being the responsible friend, he helps Taeyong not crash on his face.

  
  
Donghyuck laughs loudly at the back, "Wasted Taeyong is always my favorite," and Yuta howled before chugging a bottle of Jack Daniel's.

  
  
"I don't think this would be hilarious if it's you holding the very heavy Taeyong who's about to meet the pavement," Johnny struggles as he puts the shorter boy's arms around his shoulders as support. The others just laughed even more.

  
Taeyong has just been dumped. Without explanation. By his first boyfriend. They've already been together for six months, and Taeyong's a hopeless romantic who fell completely head over heels over his boyfriend.

Throughout their relationship, Taeyong has always felt that it's him who loves more, but of course he never brings that up, thinking that it'll destroy their relationship. Maybe I have trust issues, Taeyong thought. Maybe he's just imagining things when his boyfriend took a long time before saying 'i love you' back. Or when his boyfriend repeatedly turns him down with a list of lame excuses whenever Taeyong initiates kisses. And dates.

  
  
Today his boyfriend broke up with him just after Taeyong's team lost a swimming competition. No biggie. Just completely an asshole move. He was just totally broken from losing both things that he loves most in the world.

His genius plan is to get the other back, so Taeyong told his ploy to beg on his ex's dorm to Johnny. Thanks to Johnny's good senses, he tricked Taeyong into going to a bar instead, wittingly saving Taeyong from ruining his own reputation. Of course it earned them a series of curses from Taeyong, but who would say no to alcohol especially when your heart's in pieces?

Now Taeyong's out in the street after drinking like a pirate, and Johnny's dragging him back to the car to send the poor boy home. "He's going to kill us tomorrow," Yuta giggles.

  
  
"Yeah as if it's us who chugged the bottles of beer and caused his hungover," Hyuck almost trips on the sidewalk.

  
  
"I'm not your goddamn babysitter!" Johnny wails at his drunk friends. He only agreed to do this to help Taeyong, not to feed these moron's desire to get wasted.  
  
  
He hurled the drunk Taeyong in the backseat beside Yuta who still has a bottle in his hand. "Yuta I swear to god if you make any mess in the car I am going to drop you off in the highway," Johnny warns his friend whose eyes are barely open, and he responded with a drunk giggle.

  
  
Hyuck hops on the passenger seat, and being that friend, of course Johnny drives. 

  
  
The ride was a disaster. Donghyuck was constantly whining, "Mark will kill me!" While fumbling on his phone, trying desperately to contact his unresponsive boyfriend which only means two things: he's asleep or mad. Donghyuck prays it's the former.

Meanwhile Taeyong was reciting all the curses he know towards his ex, and Yuta- well Yuta spilled on Johnny's car. 

  
  
Taeyong...he started crying once Johnny puts him to bed. Thankfully, Taeyong is Johnny's only roommate, and the other two sneaked back to their own. But at that moment, he isn't exactly thankful.

  
  
He sits next to the crying boy and pats his back. "Shh, Taeyong, Minhyuk doesn't deserve you," Johnny tries to console him with the best comforting words he know.

  
  
"But I love him," says the boy who was just cursing Minhyuk's name a while ago. "Yeah but he's an asshole remember?" Johnny reminds him like a baby. He also wants to add that he's already warned Taeyong about Minhyuk being a shady little bitch.

Minhyuk doesn't really have that bad boy heartbreaker reputation- he's actually known as being a sweet boy and a pretty face. Thus resulting in Taeyong falling for him, hard.

  
  
Taeyong grumbles. "He never loved me Johnny," he sinks his face in his pillow. Johnny wants to reply with "yeah, I know," but thinks it's best to save the sass for later. Taeyong's not exactly in shape for that.

"He never loved me... I never felt that he did," Taeyong was broken and in despair. It's the first time he's said it out loud, since in their relationship, he was just trying to convince himself that maybe Minhyuk was sincere with him.

"You know, I never saw it in his eyes... the sparkle they say? The way you look at someone you love?" Taeyong cried. "I'm a fucking idiot, how did I not notice... six months," Johnny holds him dearly, knowing how much Taeyong has loved Minhyuk.

Johnny could recall the times Taeyong would wake up extremely early, just to pick up pastries from a bakery and drops it to Minhyuk's dorm, before he heads to his swim training. Taeyong even learned baking, in midst of his schedule in classes and swim competition training, just because his douchebag of a boyfriend loves baked goods and pastries.

  
  
"He loves someone else Johnny," Taeyong holds Johnny's arms and looks straight into his eyes, as if he just realized something. 

  
  
"What do you mean?" Johnny was thinking that it was all Taeyong's drunk thoughts, but...

  
  
"No... yes he wasn't in love with me because he still loves someone else!" Taeyong sits up from the bed.

  
  
"Taeyong... I'd hate to say this but you're drunk," Johnny looks at him with concern, but Taeyong ignores him. Maybe he's drunk, or maybe he's just gotten sober from the high of his love for Minhyuk.

  
  
"Johnny... before we were dating he told me about his first love," Taeyong scrolls through his phone as if it'll help him find the culprit.

"I forgot his name, Minhyuk was drunk, his words were slurred, but I remember how he talked about him," Taeyong adds.

  
  
"How..?"

  
  
"With love Johnny, he talked about his ex _with love_!" Taeyong hollers again while still searching in his phone. Johnny winces as he figured he just asked the wrong question.

  
  
"I'm sorry..." Johnny didn't know what to say.

  
  
"If only my dumb brain could remember the name..." Taeyong mumbles through his tears, and Johnny has a feeling that Taeyong isn't on to something nice.

  
  
"Why Taeyong what would you do...?" Johnny makes sure to ask warily, careful not to send the boy into louder cries. Taeyong just smiles.

  
  
"Kim... you know any Kim from Liberal Arts?" Johnny looks at him like he's just grown another eye. "Taeyong, Kim is a pretty common name..."

"No, dumbass, Kim is his last name," Taeyong argues, as if it makes it any easier.

"Yeah I know like three hundred Kims, Taeyong. Kim Jungwoo, Kim Minseok, Kim Junmyeon, Kim--" 

"You've made your point," Taeyong hisses at him. It amuses Johnny how Taeyong could have the guts to snap back at him who just saved his drunk ass, but he forgives him since he's heartbroken and drunk.

"He's probably in Journalism or something... Minhyuk says he likes to speak,"

"What else?"

Taeyong squints and looks up, trying to rummage through his memory. "Um, I don't know? He's part of the choral club? Do we even have a choral club..."

Johnny winces. "We have a _glee _club."

"Yeah that," Taeyong's face lit up. "Oh my god wait. His name's at the tip of my tongue, Kim Dong Han? Kim Dong Hyuk..." 

"Kim Doyoung?" Johnny tries to pitch in the most good-looking glee club member. 

"Holy fuck that's it!" Taeyong aggressively types on his phone as Johnny watches in horror.

"Taeyong what are you gonna do!" He tries to stop him by pulling the phone, but a Taeyong powered with adrenaline rush is ferocious.

"Johnny!" Taeyong warns him.

"Taeyong you're drunk, you have to sleep this off!"

Taeyong stopped struggling... and then widens his eyes like a puppy who lost his mother. 

Oh god. Is he gonna cry again? "Fine!" Johnny knows he has no power over a determined Taeyong.

"But don't destroy his life Taeyong..." He pleads the boy who's scrolling through his phone again.

"I can't find his Instagram," Taeyong ignores him.

"Taeyong...?"

"Of course not Johnny, it's not his fault," Taeyong sounded soft, but it's too early for Johnny to let his guards down.

"It's Minhyuk's," Taeyong declares as he smiled triumphantly, showing his phone to Johnny.

  
  
**kimdons**  
**Message**

  
  
Johnny was starting to reminisce if he was ever sinful is to deserve this. "I definitely don't deserve this," Johnny mumbles under his breath.

  
  
"Of course you don't, but Minhyuk does."

Taeyong starts typing in the messages that would declare his fate.

  
  
**taeyonglee **  
  
_hi_  
  
_im taeyong_  
  
Johnny sits beside Taeyong and watches the horror show directed by Taeyong. "Taeyong your name's on the display," he reminds him, not really sure if his friend is still drunk or just dumb. "Oh."

  
"And I'm pretty sure he's asleep, it's 1 am Taeyong." 

  
Taeyong looks at him, realizing he's right. But right before he could keep his phone...

  
  
**kimdons**  
_I know. _  
  
"He replied!" Taeyong said like a girl who just got a text back from her crush. Taeyong giggles. "Dear god," was all Johnny could say. 

  
  
**taeyonglee**  
_oh u know me? hehe_

**kimdons **  
_It literally says Taeyong Lee on your username_. 

  
  
Taeyong winces. Not a good first impression, he thought.  
  
**kimdons**  
  
_But yes, I do know you, swim team captain._  
  
_Also, you're Lee Minhyuk's current boyfriend._

  
  
Taeyong felt a pang in his chest. Current boyfriend. He snorts. "I really wanna sleep, but I have to supervise you, child," Johnny inclines on Taeyong's bed.

  
  
**taeyonglee**  
_ex bf actually_  
_he dumped me.._

  
**kimdons**  
_Oh._  
_Sorry for his loss, I guess?_  
  
Taeyong smiles. This Doyoung knows what to say.   
  
**taeyonglee**  
_your right :D wanna date me instead?_

  
**kimdons**  
_I'm sorry, but I'm not dating anyone who doesn't know the difference between your and you're. Good night, Taeyong._  
  
"You're a fucking idiot, Taeyong," Johnny cringes at him.   
"Shut up, Suh."  
  
**taeyonglee**  
  
_it was a typo i swear_  
_but im serious_  
_u wanna date me?_  
  
"What? Taeyong what the fuck.... I'm gonna call your mom," Johnny just couldn't handle him. Taeyong is a disaster.  
  
**kimdons**  
_I'm serious too. You think I'd date someone who just casually slid into my dm and proved himself dumb?_

**taeyonglee **  
_ouch._  
_but_  
_if i ask u out tomorrow would u do it????_

**kimdons**  
  
_Let me make sense out of this: you and Minhyuk broke up, you got drunk, and now you're randomly asking strangers on instagram to date you. My conclusion: no, I won't date you._

**taeyonglee**

_ur not a stranger tho_  
_ur minhyuk's ex_  
_i wanna date u because ur minhyuk's ex_

**kimdons**  
  
_Woah there. Who told you that? I've never dated Minhyuk. You're barking up the wrong tree._

  
  
Now Taeyong is confused. "My god... did I get the wrong boy?" He felt like it's just best to be swallowed by the ground. "Great Taeyong, you just wasted a random guy's time," Johnny yawns, "And mine."  
  
**kimdons**  
_Sure, we've had a thing before, high school sweethearts, you can call it that. But we've never officially dated. _  
_He dated another guy before we actually had a label._

**taeyonglee**  
_oh... too bad for him then_  
_also it means im right_  
_ ur the first love from highschool_

  
**kimdons**  
_So… you want to get back to Minhyuk by hitting up his first love?_  
_You realize how ridiculous that is?_  
_ Lol. Good night, Taeyong._

  
**taeyonglee**  
_no wait_  
_pls just meet me tom_  
_what time ur class ends?_

  
**kimdons **  
_If it will let your broken heart sleep, then fine. Our club practice ends at 8. If you're not by the exit of the auditorium when I pass by, then it's over. _  
_Good night. _  
_Also I'm betting that you'd forget this tomorrow. Lol.  
I’m literally dealing with a drunk man._

  
**taeyonglee**  
_i wont!!!_  
_yey_  
_thanks! good night :D_  
  
  
"Johnny I did it!" Taeyong excitedly turns to his friend, but Johnny is already knocked out on his bed. "Aw, good night Johnny," Taeyong tucks Johnny in and transfers to Johnny's bed for the night.   
  
Lee Minhyuk, maybe it's time to pay up.

  
\--


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more like an extension of the first chapter

Taeyong sprinted into his classes the next morning, spending what little was left from his energy to ignore his throbbing headache and the aching pain of yesterday’s mishaps. He makes a mental note to give his friends a good scolding when an opportunity presents itself.

Thankfully, the gods are on his side today, and he makes it out alive from his classes. He heads over to the restroom and washes his face to awaken himself, and to sort which acts from last night to regret.

Last night was a vague memory-- the beers, whiskey, chugging, shouting, and cursing and… just more drinking. There’s also a scene in his head when he’s arguing with Johnny.

_Oh god. _He remembers… crying? He cried to Johnny. He crumpled his face into his hand as if it would erase his embarrassing scene from Johnny’s memory.

And arguing? Sure, they do have a lot of reasons to argue, but he has a strong, staggering feeling that it’s about something important. Without any success of recollection, he heads out.

He was about to walk in the cafeteria when Yuta spots him. “Hey!”

“Where are you going?” Taeyong asks because they’re already walking away from the cafeteria hall.

“Um? Going to eat?” Yuta replies as if it’s obvious.

“Yeah, are you still drunk or something? The cafeteria’s that way,” Taeyong points to the opposite way, but Yuta pulls him.

“No, we’re eating outside baby boy,” Taeyong, confused out of his wits, just walked along as his head is still throbbing.

Donghyuck smiles at him sheepishly once they arrived at a nearby diner. "Good morning Taeyong!"

Taeyong eyes him suspiciously, with an upset Mark Lee beside him. "What have you done, Hyuck?" He asks as he sits beside Yuta, who was already gobbling up a sandwich.

"Don't ask me that!" His eyes signals sideways, as if saying that Mark and him aren't still in good terms, and points to Yuta, "He's the suspect!"

Yuta glares at him, "Shut it Hyuck, I don't want any memories from last night. And Taeyong if there's anyone to blame here, it's you, but we forgive you since you've just been dumped," Yuta declares as if he had sorted out everything and caresses Taeyong's hair.

Taeyong groaned. Great. He's just been reminded again of that asshole.

"Hyung please tell Mark I didn't do anything wrong," Hyuck pleads the older boys. Mark acts like his boyfriend doesn’t exist.

“You see, I was supposed to be tutored by my Mark for organic chemistry, but Mark,” Hyuck faces his boyfriend, “Taeyong hyung was heartbroken and it was an emergency,” he clings into Mark’s arm, who was too interested in his burrito.

"Oh no Donghyuck, you're not getting away with this," Yuta started as Hyuck's eyes widened. "If my memory serves me right, one of your crimes is daring a drunk and broken Taeyong to chug down a Captain Morgan," Taeyong drops his utensils-and his jaw.

Donghyuck's positive that his pounding heart could be heard by everyone. Every soul in the table knows how Taeyong's alcohol tolerance is. It practically doesn't exist.

"What! Who paid for that?!" It seems like Taeyong's priorities are on a different lane.

Mark listens in horror, trying really hard not to yell at Donghyuck.

The table falls silent. Even the telltale Yuta's mouth is zipped shut, and Taeyong winces as he checks his almost empty wallet.

"Oh my god... you fools.... you robbed me!" He sighs, but quickly regains a smile that would send a chill down anyone’s spine. The rest of the table fell scared of him, _why was he smiling?_

"But anyways I'm glad you guys were with me last night... god knows what I could've done without you," Taeyong flashes a warm smile that sent relief to the others. Donghyuck could feel his normal breathing again.

Taeyong was genuinely grateful. He remembers pleading Johnny to come with him at Minhyuk’s dorm, and beg for him to come back. That was a horrible, goodbye-reputation idea, now that he thinks of it.

"If anything, we won't let you do anything more stupid than blowing away your money," Yuta pats Taeyong's back happily. At least it ended well, for Yuta and Donghyuck.

"If you say so," Johnny arrives at the table with Jaehyun.

"Hi guys!" Jaehyun enthusiastically greets and hugs Taeyong, "my poor baby... we would beat Minhyuk down for you." Taeyong pushes him away and makes a face, "stinky!"

Jaehyun just laughs it away and sits next to Johnny. "But Taeyong I've heard you asked someone out?" Jaehyun pries.

Taeyong furrowed his brows and slowly turns his head, as the others fell in the same comical shock. "What!" was Mark's first word.

"Should I say congratulations?" Yuta queries.  
  
"Yes! Congratulations hyung!" Hyuck shouts.  
  
"No! What happened? Are you okay hyung?" Mark was the only one actually worried, and Jaehyun finds everything hilarious.

Meanwhile, Taeyong remembers the flash of bullshit that he did last night as Johnny narrates Taeyong's genius plan.

"But I kinda fell asleep, so I don't really know how it ends. I'm really betting Taeyong lost though, he was a total dumbass last night, and _no one_ in their right mind would agree to him," Johnny concludes.

Taeyong flashes a grin. "Then are you saying that Kim Doyoung is insane?"

Johnny has never heard of a more absurd sentence. The words _Kim Doyoung _and _insane _don’t exactly fit together. "No way."

Taeyong just shrugs and eats his meal. No regrets, he thought.

\--

Taeyong sweats in nervousness as he sat outside the auditorium. It’s almost 8 pm, he’s already completely sober, and now it sinks in him how Kim Doyoung was right- his genius plan is completely ridiculous.

He’s scrolling through his direct message last night, and puckers his lips as he reads through it. “First of all what the fuck,” he mumbles to himself as he reads the messages he sent.

“Oh my god,” he reacts as he scrolls through.

He stared into a blank space, completely eaten by embarrassment. Maybe meeting Kim Doyoung right now is right, but instead of asking him out and ultimately messing up his life, he should just apologize for the dreadful things he said.

_This is humiliating. _Maybe he should beg for Doyoung to not spread rumors about him too?

Taeyong comes to the conclusion that it’s the best thing to do, as he nods to himself. He’s waiting for the auditorium door to open and apologize to Kim Doyoung for the foolishness, when he spots an unmistakable figure.

Taeyong knows Minhyuk like the back of his hand. His fluffy hair, his tall, muscular figure, and his pretty little face. Taeyong was supposed to feel pain as he sees him, but right now he’s just boiling in anger.

Minhyuk has wasted eight months’ worth of his undying love- that of course still lingers inside him and powers up the anger built. He’s poured out his whole heart unto him, and he dumps him with no reason? Minhyuk has no rights to be happy when he has hurt a boy in love.

Taeyong’s apologies plan just went into drain, and now he’s suddenly just eager to just get back to Minhyuk.

The auditorium’s door opened and a swarm of glee club members are exiting. Taeyong stands up and tries to spot Kim Doyoung- with his built it’ll be easy. He looks tall in his Instagram posts, and Taeyong thinks he has a remarkably good-looking face, his body is lean-

“Taeyong Lee,” a guy greets him with a smirk on his face, “you actually remembered.”

Taeyong looks at the guy slightly taller than him, excellent posture, and glass-like skin. You can give it to Minhyuk being the century’s douche, but he has an admirable taste in men. The guy laughs, “You’re actually serious about this?”

Taeyong walks with him, being washed away with the crowd, but looks back for a brief moment. “Minhyuk was here,” he introduced. The other guy raised an eyebrow at him.

“I don’t know how you even liked that guy, he’s an asshole,” Taeyong spits the words with disgust. He really has that effect on him.

Kim Doyoung just laughed at him, “Speak for yourself.” Taeyong groaned.

“I want him to regret every single thing he’s done, every shit he’s crapped upon me-“

  
Doyoung puts his arm around Taeyong’s shoulder, causing the latter to stop on his tracks. “What are you doing?” Taeyong looked at him with wide eyes.

“Making your dreams happen?” Doyoung said nonchalantly. Taeyong was dumbfounded and walks with Doyoung in silence. _This guy is… bold._

All the embarrassment he sure he would be feeling at the moment was gone in an instant. Doyoung seems to be so into this game that Taeyong’s starting to question Doyoung’s sanity.

He found himself outside Doyoung’s apartment. “Why exactly are you doing this? This is ridiculous, though,” Taeyong admits as Doyoung faces him.

  
“Because you’re right, Taeyong, Minhyuk’s an asshole,” Kim Doyoung smiles at him. “Dumping you right after you lost an important competition? Damn, that’s really low.”

Taeyong suddenly felt the pain rushing into him. It’s humiliating when someone else says it. “How did you know?”

“Taeyong, you’re the university’s _swim team captain,” _Doyoung made sure to emphasize just to make his point._ “_Everybody knows,” Doyoung explains. “You’re basically the university’s biggest pity party right now. Swim team captain gets dumped after the interuniversity olympics.” Doyoung lays it out like a headline.

Now it explains why his friends didn’t want to eat inside the cafeteria in lunch. He figures he really owes them big.

“That’s really pathetic,” Taeyong flinches. He realizes how it’s not just his heart that’s crashed, but also his reputation and ego.

“Mhm, but now it’s swim team captain going out with his ex’s ex after he gets dumped,” Doyoung says cheerfully.

“What’s in this for you?” Taeyong looks at him suspiciously.

Doyoung stops for a moment and thinks about it. “I’ll figure that out later, but then it means you owe me big time. Now give me your phone and I’ll save my number,” Taeyong follows obediently.

**To Whom I Owe My Life**

“Just a heads up that we’re in no means going to be in real love or whatever, but that’s only going to be your problem,” Doyoung warns. Taeyong furrowed his eyebrows. “I’m a catch!”

“Yeah, just not mine.” Doyoung chuckles. “I have a lot to catch up on, so good night, sober Lee Taeyong,” Doyoung says before going into the building.

“Just Taeyong!” Taeyong shouts just to correct, not really sure if Doyoung heard. Taeyong smiles as he just knows he’s got the right weapon to tear Minhyuk’s world down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short i guess.. the mess is to come 
> 
> update may be posted tomorrow( (or the day after)! 
> 
> thank u for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

One can say that Taeyong is pretty jobless at this point. It’s the time of the year when their swim team is on rest because the season’s competition has just ended. Add that Taeyong isn’t dating anymore. This sums to Taeyong having an awful lot of time for himself.

And that’s bad news. Johnny is rarely in their dorm, and sulking alone with a broken heart isn’t exactly how one would like to spend his free time after classes. He would sometimes find himself scrolling on his phone, and _accidentally_ going through Minhyuk’s social media accounts. He has several reasons as to why he still hasn’t blocked him, but Johnny doesn’t want to hear any of it.

So Taeyong found himself a new hobby: hanging out in his friends’ apartment, and bugging the hell out of Kim Doyoung.

The bugging goes like this: on his bored days, he would send Doyoung unintelligible keyboard smashes with an attached selfie of whatever the hell he’s doing, like his laundry or eating noodles. Confused Doyoung would send an equal keyboard smash and snap a photo of what he’s doing for the day, just to rub on Taeyong’s face that he’s busy.

On _much_ bored days, Taeyong would edit a photo of he who shall not be named. He would draw devil’s horns on Minhhyuk’s picture (in which Doyoung responded with:_ the artist jumped out)_, cross his eyes out, and put a knife emoji on his face. Doyoung’s response was: _if you have a murder planned, let me know_.

They haven’t really gone out since unlike him, Doyoung is busy with his glee club meets. Taeyong offered to sit in and watch their practice, which Doyoung heavily disagreed to. “I don’t need a distraction during my practice,” is what he said.

Taeyong racked his brain on ideas to slap his fake relationship with Doyoung unto Minhyuk’s face.

_This is harder than I thought_.

First of all, if he really wants Minhyuk to think that they’re together, he’d have to actually appear with Doyoung.

It’s a Saturday and Taeyong is hanging out in Donghyuck’s shared apartment with Yuta, which is a pigsty, if you ask Taeyong. Yuta is out for soccer practice, leaving Mark, Donghyuck, Jaehyun, and him on a free day.

“Your room stinks,” Taeyong complains as he walks out of what apparently is a bedroom according to Donghyuck. The first thing he did the moment he woke up is to show up in his friends’ apartment, as usual. He’d play ps4 with Yuta whenever he’s home, while Mark and Donghyuck would be doing their unspeakable businesses.

This is one of Taeyong’s unlucky days when Yuta is out, and he’d clean up what he sees out of boredom. This morning he’s already washed the dishes and watered the potted plants, but Donghyuck’s bedroom was… something else.

“Um, it doesn’t?” Donghyuck answers, who’s coddled up with Mark in the living room.

“Really hits different when you already live here,” Taeyong goes on, and Mark laughs at the older guy’s remark. His boyfriend throws him a dagger look, but of course Mark is unbothered.

“Clean it yourself then, my god,” Donghyuck dramatically puts his hand on his forehead, feigning being stressed out.

Taeyong lies next to where Jaehyun is seated, who was too busy texting. Jaehyun is almost always booked like Johnny, so it's a rarity to have him over.

"There's a house party at Hyungwon's tonight! It's your time to shine Taeyong," Jaehyun said.

Taeyong grimaces. Hyungwon is a member of the swim team too, which means that they’re _somehow_ friends. As a campus social butterfly, Jaehyun is also friends with him. Hyungwon also happens to be one of Minhyuk’s best buds, to Taeyong’s convenience.

“I wanna go too,” Donghyuck chimes in.

“Sure! I’m taking you,” Mark excitedly declares, as he is also a part of the swim team.

Donghyuck kisses him on the cheek, “get yourself a boyfriend like this!”

“Mhm, Kim Doyoung will get a boyfriend like that once Taeyong invites him tonight, right Taeyong?” Jaehyun grins.

Taeyong leans back, gazes at Jaehyun for a few seconds, and says, “Let’s do this.” This is the opportunity presenting itself.

**Taeyong Lee**  
_hi doyoung! u busy tonight?_

**To Whom I Owe My Life**  
_Kind of. I have a series to binge. Why do you ask?_

**Taeyong Lee**  
_ we’re going to do sumn more fun than that ! ;)_  
_ i’ll see u @ 10!_

**To Whom I Owe My Life**  
_I doubt it._

\--

Taeyong picks up Doyoung a little later than 10, which is already expected by Doyoung. He drove Johnny’s car which still reeks of alcohol that Yuta spilled.

“Yuta’s gonna pay for the carwash, and you will too if I see a speck inside,” Johnny said once he lent him his keys, and obviously Yuta still hasn’t paid for it.

Taeyong was surprised that Doyoung agreed unreluctantly when he explained to him their destination. “You party?” Taeyong asks with his eyes on the road.

Doyoung rolls his eyes and darts him a look, “You think all glee club members are antisocial? I’m not a loser, Taeyong.”

Taeyong throws his head back and laughs in amusement, “No offense.”

\--

They arrived at Hyungwon’s place, and the people are already fairly smashed. A loud explicit song is blasted loudly and the place is a mess: a mudded beer pong on the kitchen, couples making out, and Taeyong spots a chugging Yuta who’s still in his jerseys, surrounded by a cheering crowd.

Taeyong leads Doyoung inside with his hand on his waist, ‘_for the show_’, he said, and looks around for familiar faces.

A tipsy Jaehyun with a beer in hand rushes to them. “Taeyong! Hi, Doyoung! Jung Jaehyun here,” he greets and kisses Doyoung on both cheek.

  
“Are you always this touchy?” Doyoung laughs, and Jaehyun giggles at the remark.

  
Jaehyun pulls them around for some time, and casually clicks with Doyoung. The other two conversed while Taeyong looks around, trying to hunt down his target. He sees a couple of people from his swim team and he tried his best to hide from them. Thankfully, Doyoung and Jaehyun towers him. This is the one and only moment that he’s grateful that he’s slightly shorter.

“Hey, Jaehyun, we have an agenda here.” Taeyong says once he gains confidence, because they wouldn’t really make the point they’re trying to make if they tag along with Jaehyun for the whole night.

“Right! The counter is over there,” Jaehyun points across. “Good luck baby boy, good night Doyoung!” Giggling Jaehyun kisses both Doyoung and Taeyong on the cheeks. Taeyong was already used to Jaehyun’s weird skinship obsession, but Doyoung was so fascinated by it.

Taeyong served himself and Doyoung some booze to ease his nerves.

Taeyong is aware of the weird stares he’s getting from the people inside. Of course he’s expected this, he had just walked in a tiger’s cage on purpose. This is his and Minhyuk’s usual, and he knows he just subjected himself into hungry animals’ mouths.

Thankfully Doyoung tails him and knows exactly what to do. He held Taeyong’s cold hand and squeezed it a little for to relieve Taeyong’s tension.

Taeyong recognized one of the flirting couple as Mark and Donghyuck drinking on a couch, caught up in their own bubble. Mark notices them too and shouts, “Hyung! Come sit with us!”

“Kim Doyoung! Is Taeyong treating you well?” A blushing Donghyuck asked.

They exchanged pleasantries, and evidently, the others has liked Doyoung well. Taeyong was impressed on Doyoung’s social skills, and how easily he gets along with everyone. Doyoung raises a brow at him when he sees Taeyong gulping down a drink like a reflex.

“Hyung you’ve seen Minhyuk yet?” Mark asks.

Taeyong pursed his lips, “Is he even here? I brought Doyoung for him,” Taeyong smiles and places his arm around Doyoung’s shoulder, sliding down to his back, and then he lets his dizzy head rest on the shoulder.

“You stink of alcohol,” Doyoung complains, whose face was inches away from his.

Taeyong just snickers. In his defense, if there’s other way to relieve his anxiety to see Minhyuk, he’d have it.

Taeyong stays like that for a while while watching people pass by with his dizzy eyes. Then he notices the host- Hyungwon arrives at the counter across them with Minhyuk. Taeyong went pale as if he’s seen a ghost.

Yeah, he wants to beat Minhyuk down. He wants to fork his eyes, to drown him on a drum, put him in a luggage to Morocco, and tie him up with barbed wires. But now that Minyuk is actually there right before his eyes, he’s just frozen.

“Hey, that’s Minhyuk,” Doyoung bravely points across them. Taeyong’s eyes widened and he slaps down Doyoung’s hand instantly.

Doyoung’s forehead creased, “Why?”

Taeyong sits straight and bites his lips, his cheeks flushed. “I don’t know what to do,”

Doyoung’s eyes narrowed at him, “You brought me here, Taeyong. Now you don’t want Minhyuk to see?” His voice was stern, and Taeyong felt a bit guilty. Doyoung’s right.

Taeyong sighed, “I’m sorry. I just really don’t know what to do.”

“Make up your mind, Taeyong. Do you want me to leave?”

He glances back at Minhyuk, who has a shot on his hand, and was… looking at them. Watching them. Taeyong was back into his senses. He remembers why exactly he’s in the party, why he messaged Doyoung, why he’s with him right here.

“No.” Taeyong says firmly. He sits closer to Doyoung, hugging his waist from the back, and carefully cups his face. He stares straight into Doyoung’s eyes, as if asking for permission. When Doyoung doesn’t object, he shuts his eyes and kisses him on the side of his lips.

Taeyong was thinking that their angle would do its job to appear what it has to from Minhyuk. But Doyoung thinks otherwise- he grabs Taeyong’s hair, as he goes for Taeyong’s soft lips. Taeyong’s breath hitched with the sudden touch, but doesn’t protest.

He still felt hazy and warm from all the alcohol running in his body, but Doyoung’s lips sent his body into sizzles. It felt like an electric shock, a buzzing warm electricity inside him. Doyoung pulls away and Taeyong wakes up, his lips slightly agape.

He blinked a few more times before Doyoung asks, “Any objections?”

Taeyong shakes his head, “You’re good at this.” Doyoung just smirks at him.

He just kissed another boy in front of Minhyuk, after just a couple of weeks of their breakup. And not just any other boy- but Kim Doyoung, his first love. That should’ve been a great start, he thought.

The kiss momentarily wiped out Taeyong’s agenda for the night, and when he looks back at the counter, Minhyuk was already gone.

He knew he should be happy. Celebrating, even. He just had an ‘in your face’ moment with Minhyuk, which is exactly what he aimed for. Not for the hollow feeling that’s trying to creep its way in his chest, not for the pain he feels for still loving Minhyuk despite being the biggest ass on the planet.

Donghyuck brought Taeyong more drinks and he happily chugs it, while Doyoung was trying to keep himself sober with just a few drinks. He even agreed when Mark and Donghyuck invited them on the floor, which surprised Taeyong even more- and also made him more drunk than he already is.

Taeyong wilds in the floor for a good amount of time thinking he would be able to shake off his antsiness, attracting an even wilder Yuta to wild with him. Doyoung pulls him before he does anything remotely regrettable.

With Doyoung being the only warm body next to him, Taeyong clings to him like a leech. One could say that Doyoung was trying hard to protect himself from Taeyong's strong scent of alcohol. He fails as Taeyong cages him in a hug and buried his face on Doyoung's chest. The struggle became real when Taeyong puts all his weight on the taller boy, almost knocking the both of them down.

_Hopeless_, Doyoung thought. He needs to maintain the act of being Taeyong's beau, so with all his will, he didn't push Taeyong away.

The couple has decided to go home, and Doyoung realized that Taeyong is already too drunk to be able to drive. So for the nth time, drunk, witless Taeyong gets dragged into the car and driven home.

Only that night, Doyoung doesn’t really know where Taeyong stays as he’s actually never been there. He also doesn’t have a number of anyone from Taeyong’s friends- and so he resorts to the last option that he’s stuck with, which is to bring Taeyong into his own apartment.

\--

Doyoung’s place was just perfect- for one person. Which means he has a couch and a bed for himself. He doesn’t usually have people over for sleepovers and such, and Taeyong right there screams a bad idea.

He struggled as he drag and slump the drunk guy on the couch.

_No way he’s staying on my bed._

“I wish I saw the look on his face,” Taeyong says with his eyes closed, his sprawled body barely fitting on the sofa. Doyoung wasn’t sure if Taeyong’s even slightly awake or he’s just sleep talking.

“I’d die to see him in much pain like I am… I’d kiss you again if I have to.”

Doyoung is crossed armed staring at him, “Really? You’re definitely sleeping on the couch tonight.”

He was just about to leave and lie on his own bed when Taeyong spoke again, “This is the most pathetic thing,” and starts to sob on the couch. “I still love him… why do I have to hurt just by seeing his stupid face… I hate him,” Taeyong turns away and hugs himself, obviously drunk out of his mind.

Taeyong was sobbing uncontrollably and it bothers Doyoung. No way would he be able to sleep while listening to a crying drunkard outside his bedroom.

_Why am I helping him again?_

Doyoung was once like Taeyong: hopelessly in love with the same pretty faced boy, Minhyuk. Needless to say, he was his first love. Minhyuk has been a part of his life as a teen, and nothing has marked him more than a first love that never made it.

Minhyuk has replaced him with another guy when Doyoung was secure that Minhyuk would wait for him to be ready to out. But Minhyuk thought that it took Doyoung too long, that he didn’t wait.

Doyoung was friends with regret and agony for a long time. He lost his first love because he wasn’t ready. For years, he was painfully blaming himself. Minhyuk is a douche and he knows it by heart. If Taeyong was indeed right that Minhyuk still has feelings for him, then this is his chance to make Minhyuk regret him too.

He sat on the floor next to the couch and soothes Taeyong’s hair in circles, rubbing his thumb on Taeyong's temples for comfort. He lulled him until he finally stops crying. Hopefully, Taeyong will remember none of this.

It is a known fact that Taeyong is attractive, but seeing him in this fragile state is something else. It’s similar to seeing a fallen angel. The boy gradually quiets down and falls into slumber.

Instinctively, Doyoung wonders how many nights have Taeyong cried himself to sleep over the past weeks because of a lost love. He felt a tug in his heart as he pities the boy.

Doyoung helps Taeyong up from the couch, “I’m giving you this one time to sleep on my bed, Taeyong, don’t mess it up.”

Taeyong weighs nothing. Doyoung effortlessly slumped Taeyong on his bed, but there's something not right. Taeyong stinks of cheap booze, and Doyoung would not sleep next to that.

And so he does what he had to: he removed the shirt that smells, leaving him with only his skinny jeans,and covers him in blanket. Doyoung lies next to him, with layers of pillows separating them.

_Business is strictly business._

He was about to sleep himself when he sees his phone on the floor light up.

A message from Minhyuk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for reading! let me know what u think so far. ^-^
> 
> next chapter would be in a few days!!


	4. Chapter 4

Waking up in a strange bed has become new to Taeyong. He hasn’t slept around ever since Minhyuk, so that afternoon was oddly new to him.

“Getting drunk is not a personality Taeyong! Get my car back here!” Johnny shouted over the phone. The first thing Taeyong did when he found himself lying topless on someone else’s bed is to call Johnny, knowing damn well that he’ll be worried. Only about his car, it seems.

The moment Taeyong walked out, he found Doyoung in a white shirt and comfortable shorts casually watching tv. “Your loan is piling up,” was his first words to him.

  
  
He doesn’t object when he saw the hungover soup on the table that Doyoung bought for him. Even his shirt was neatly hung, and it now smells of Febreze instead of Andy Player Whisky that it reeked of, if his memory even serves him right.

  
Doyoung has drove his drunk ass home last night, let him stay in his place, and even let him sleep on his own bed.

“I owe you really big, you slept on the couch for me?”

  
Doyoung looks at him like he’s grown snakes on his head. “This is my place. Why would I sleep on the couch?”

Doyoung was so unbothered that Taeyong’s hand flew to his mouth. He hurried back on the bedroom, and was relieved to find the stack of pillows that might've served as borders.

His kindness was making Taeyong suspicious, as Doyoung even drove Taeyong back to his dorm, allowing the latter instruct the way back. “What’s the deal with you?” Taeyong asks him on their way back to his own dorm.

“It seems you’re not used to a kind human being.” That shut Taeyong up.

Taeyong was adjusting the radio to keep himself awake during the short car ride when Doyoung spoke, “Minhyuk messaged me last night.”

  
Taeyong’s eyes shot wide. “What did he say?” Finally, the fruit of his labor. He’s _dying_ to know how his ex reacted with their mini show last night.

“Asked why I was with you.”

Taeyong raises his brow and faces him, “That’s it? Nothing about… the kiss?”

“I told him we’re together. He said he’s not buying it,” Doyoung says indifferently, and Taeyong couldn’t believe his ears.

“We kissed!” Taeyong cried in disappointment. It was a kiss, done by couples right?

  
  
“Do you know how many students were making out drunk in the party?” Doyoung shots at him. “A kiss… are you a teenager?” Doyoung replies with an equal disbelief. Their scheme has just started but Taeyong is already out of ideas to continue it.

“So do I have to suck your dick in front of Minhyuk to convince him?”

  
Doyoung momentarily removed his eyes from the road to glare at Taeyong. It’s worth it to risk his life just to send death stares to the other boy whose brain contains air.

“You know, you still haven’t regained yourself from first impression for me.”

  
“Which is? Hot? Cute? I don’t really need to recover from that.”

“An idiot.”

\--

Johnny was waiting outside the dorm’s parking lot when Taeyong and Doyoung arrived.

  
“Thank you so much Kim Doyoung. Taeyong will pay for all your kind deeds,” Johnny praises as he saw his car, untainted and in one piece.

Doyoung smiles at him, “No worries. Also, we’re going somewhere today, do you have plans with him?”

  
  
Taeyong looked at him confusingly, “We are?”

Johnny shakes his head, almost too vigorously, “You can take him and use him however you want. Enjoy Taeyong!” That wasn’t an ‘enjoy, Taeyong’ but an ‘enjoy Taeyong!’, and Taeyong felt betrayed by his best friend.

“Where are we going?!” Doyoung holds his hand and pulls him to the bus stop.

He grins at him, “On a date.”

\--

Taeyong, still clothed in Doyoung’s shirt and skinny jeans from last night, found himself in an old, uncrowded rink that plays 80s music.

“A roller skating rink. How cliché can you get?” Taeyong grins through his word. Thanfkully the rink is filled with only a few kids and teenagers rolling around. It’s dark, but the vibrant disco lights bounces off their faces, just enough for Doyoung to see the glisten on Taeyong’s eyes.

“That’s not how you thank your boyfriend who just brought you on a romantic date.”

Truth be told, a romantic date is as rare as a national holiday for Taeyong. He’s never demanded for one whenever Minhyuk turns down his offer, and of course the ex never initiated one. The only so-called dates they had was spent in Minhyuk’s apartment, gobbling up cheap ramen, sometimes lying around and watching sports show that Taeyong pretended to be interested in, and most of the time they’re just fucking.

He wondered how he lasted six months of love with that. And how stupidly, idiotically, ironically, he still is.

Taeyong sat and waited until Doyoung brings him a pair of rollers. “Go on, we don’t have the whole day for this.”

“I haven’t done this since the first grade,” Taeyong admits, staring cluelessly on the blades before him.

Doyoung just finished on his own pair and says, “Then I’m going to teach a first grader,” he kneels and reaches for his shoes. Taeyong laughs out loud at the sight of Doyoung undoing his ties.

The gesture was weird for him. Is that what romantic is supposed to be? The little gesture melted Taeyong’s heart in a way he couldn’t find words for.

Maybe he’s just yearning for some romantic affection that was never reciprocated.

“All set, Cinderella. Let’s go.”

\--

“Swim team captain doesn’t know how to roller blade,” Doyoung teases and laughs at Taeyong who can barely stand straight, tightly latching on to his arms for his dear life.

Doyoung was trying to guide him to the middle of the rink, but it seems like they won’t reach the middle without Taeyong falling on his ass.

He fishes out his phone and takes a snap of him.

“You really want your first photo of me to be this undignified?” Doyoung was roaring with laughter when he tried to let go of Taeyong, but the helpless boy only pulled and gripped tighter unto his arm.

“Why not? And also I have better reasons,” Doyoung beams as he showed the photo of Taeyong clutched on his hand, bended over, and with a horrified look on his face, just uploaded on his Instagram account.

Taeyong groaned, “Delete that!” But Doyoung just looks at him with a funny face.

“Come on Doyoung, I’ll smile! Give me some dignity,” He says, and indeed he tried to flash his sweetest smile while faking a good form.

Not in his wildest dreams have Taeyong imagined he’d enjoy Kim Doyoung’s presence this much. Just exclude the time when Doyoung had successfully let go of his grip, leaving the poor Taeyong trying to move on his own. Doyoung was laughing like an idiot while rolling backwards, while filming Taeyong chasing him- but to no success- like a baby.

Never mind the people staring like they’ve seen a clown, Taeyong falling on his ass was already funny enough.

“You think this is funny?” Taeyong, still on the floor, asks once he gets hold of Doyoung’s hands again.

“Hilarious,” Doyoung says and tries to pull the poor boy up, but that’s not what happened. Instead, Taeyong pulled him down, and so he also lands on the floor next to him.

It’s then Taeyong’s turn to laugh at him, “You’re right, this _is _funny!” He takes his phone out and snaps the other boy too, who’s now strangling him to not get the photo taken. As if it’s embarrassing enough that the two college boys are on the floor, they decided to be even more embarrassing by having a wrestling match in the middle of the rink.

“Get off me!” Taeyong struggled through giggles when Doyoung reached for his hand, but of course Taeyong tried to fight him off. Doyoung was cursing him throughout but Taeyong just finds it amusing.

“Get a room!” A teenage girl circled them, in which Taeyong only laughed louder at. Immediately, Doyoung helped himself up to save his face.

“I just got yelled at by a kid because of you,” Doyoung was unwrinkling his shirt, but couldn’t hide the smirk on his face.

“As far as I remember it wasn’t me who started the wrestling match,” Taeyong successfully stood up this time.

Taeyong begged for Doyoung to teach him for some time, evidently enjoying his first roller blading again. What made it even more enjoyable for him was the funky music playing inside.

What was enjoyable in Doyoung’s perspective is how Taeyong whines whenever he almost slips because of getting pulled faster than he could catch up on. Taeyong would get annoyed every time Doyoung says he wants to race on the other side and give him twenty dollars, knowing damn well he wouldn’t make it.

Eventually, Taeyong got tired of failing and gives up, with the promise that he’ll come back better and would get that twenty dollar.

They both decided to leave the rink, still with Doyoung guiding him so his ass won’t meet the ground again. “How do you still not get how this works?”

As if the roller blading still wasn’t enough, Taeyong invited to go for a gelato shop nearby.

“Let me have this, I've failed enough,” he said.

Doyoung agreed only when Taeyong offers to buy him too. They posed for a couple of photos in the shop to decide which one to post. Taeyong thought he has a bright idea when he suggested to do a pose where he’s kissed on Doyoung’s cheek, but Doyoung doesn’t really think it’s bright.

“You’re begging to get caught, aren’t you?” He said, reasoning that it was too cheesy to be real.

In the end they opted for a selfie together with a large strawberry gelato with two spoons stuck to it.

\--

Taeyong didn’t know it would take a fake dating scheme to have one of the greatest companies he’s had. It goes without saying that after the chaotic weekend, he became an inch closer to Doyoung.

Their incomprehensible text messages upgraded into rants that started from Doyoung sending him a long, hate message for not returning his shirt asap, and Taeyong promised to give it back once he dry cleaned it. Apparently ASAP for Doyoung is returning it the morning after their date.

  
After that, Taeyong was comfortably sending complaints from how Johnny always leaves him alone in the dorm, _secretly_ hinting that he’s bored and wants to go out. As expected, Doyoung gave him an advice that went: _try to be more productive, like me._

Taeyong’s hate messages for Minhyuk that he sends to Doyoung still happens to be frequent, and graphic, if you ask Doyoung.

It then escalated to the level that it’s Doyoung’s turn to send his rant about how their choral master is always late:

**To Whom I Owe My Life**

_That fucker is always wasting my time._

What’s even better is it seems that people are already buying their fake relationship. Hyungwon and some of Minhyuk’s friends _liked _Doyoung’s post in Instagram, which is a pretty good sign.

Meanwhile Taeyong’s friends trashed it with comments:

**thedonghyuck:** _doyoung run while you still can!_

**nakamothoe**: 😏🍆💦

**marklee0802: ** _aww you both look cute hyungs <3 _

On the other hand, Doyoung has been a great friend even though most of the times, he just disagree with everything Taeyong says.

In Taeyong’s own words, they just naturally clicked. Exactly what he told Johnny on a rare night that he went home early.

“Finally a good influence for you, besides me,” Johnny comments while shaving.

  
Taeyong was lying on his bed and was just texting with Doyoung.

“He’s actually a pretty cool kid, if you ask me,” Johnny adds.

“He’s grumpy though.”

“And? What about it? You deserve it Tae,” Johnny chuckles at his own remark.

“One day, when I’m finally over that douche ass Minhyuk, I’m gonna have to thank him for Doyoung.”

Johnny raises both his brows and turns to him, “You won’t be thanking anyone once Doyoung breaks your heart too.”

“What?” Taeyong looks at him funnily and snorts, “I’m not a wimp who falls in love with everyone he’s attached to,” His tone was very, very defensive.

He then realized what just came out of his mouth. _Attached? Oh hell no..._

  
“We’re just friends and_ fake_ lovers!” Taeyong convinces him.

Johnny nods at him with a funny look on his face. “If you say so, and you better keep your words baby boy, I’m not going to nurse you home once you cry over a boy again.”

That night ended differently in ways more than one: for once he didn’t think about scrolling through Minhyuk’s social media accounts again. For once, he didn’t text Doyoung something that involves poisoning and Minhyuk.

What he did that night was to rethink of his friendship with Doyoung, and if he was already crossing a line that he knows he shouldn’t, else the mess would only get bigger.

_Of course we’re just friends. Very very very close friends whose common denominator is an asshole. _

\---

“Just a reminder, we’re fake _dating, _not married.” Doyoung was dragged into a grocery store nearby, as Taeyong pushes a cart and inspects the brands of instant ramens.

Taeyong ran out of supplies and he either does groceries alone or with Johnny, but Johnny is missing in action yet again. So he settled for the next option he has: Doyoung.

“I know you need this too,” Taeyong said as he placed a pack into the cart. “Also, who said that doing groceries isn’t romantic?” Taeyong flashes a cheeky smile and takes a photo of Doyoung.

He lurked into Doyoung’s accounts and reads the comments on their recent post, “Doyoung your friends think I’m cute!”

“Don’t flatter yourself too much.”

“As a thanks you can get whatever you want,” Taeyong announces, but Doyoung was once step ahead as he’s already getting a pack of coffee a carton of milk.

“Mom can I get this?” Doyoung teases while holding up a box of gummy worms.

They strolled around and picks up their essentials, while Taeyong takes photos occasionally and adds them to his Instagram stories. “Now we really look like a couple, right?” Taeyong said with sparkling eyes.

“Much to my dismay.”

Doing grocery has never been fun, especially for Doyoung. Getting groceries and for free? Who knew fake dating would get him free stuff too?

After picking up their basic needs, Taeyong wandered off to the baking section and offered to bake for Doyoung as a form of genuine gratitude. Doyoung is a gift from gods: he even got to relive his hobby.

Days after their grocery session, Taeyong showed up in Doyoung’s apartment after bombarding him with messages that he wants to visit when he told him that he has an oven in his apartment. Doyoung just then knew it was a mistake that he told Taeyong that crucial information.

“Why do you even own this much stuff when you don’t bake?” Taeyong wonders while scrutinizing the oven and the mixer.

“My mother thought it’s a good idea. Lucky you,” Doyoung just got home from one of the Saturday afternoon meets, so he lets himself rest on the couch.

“I’ll have to thank your mother one day,” Taeyong eagerly lays out the baking tools he bought.

“Yes, especially for my existence.”

Doyoung has taken a nap due exhaustion as he just got home from their practice, when he wakes up to the smell of freshly baked cookies enveloping his small apartment.

He was lured into the kitchen and finds a very satisfied Taeyong with a tray of chocolate chip cookies.

“I have to admit that this is really good,” Doyoung remarked after taking a bite, after a bite, after a bite. Taeyong was beaming with fulfilment as he sat next to Doyoung on the couch.

“Fun fact,” Taeyong starts, “I learned baking because of Minhyuk,” he says with bitterness in his voice.

He stopped baking after their breakup for the sole reason that it felt like he’s still doing it for his ex.

“Then I have to thank him, your cookies are blessings,” Doyoung smiles at him with his mouth still full.

Taeyong is amazed on Doyoung’s skill to make a sad information into something nice to hear. 

“How are you so good at this? How many of Minhyuk’s exes have you already avenged?” Taeyong laughed, and Doyoung just shrugs with a smug, prideful look on his face.

“Why did Minhyuk message you that night instead of me?” Taeyong blurts out. If he’s going to be real, that question has been lingering in his mind ever since it happened.

Doyoung sits down next to him, “Beats me too. Maybe he’s still hung up on you too?”

The question struck Taeyong. He’s never thought about it. Fact, he still loves Minhyuk. Also a fact, Minhyuk treated him like a garbage. “Nah, if anything, he’s still hung up on _you.”_

Doyoung shakes his head, “You’re delusional to say that.”

“He was_ in love with you_ even when he was still with me,” Taeyong says with an obvious resentment in his voice.

Doyoung doesn’t answer, knowing that it is a sensitive topic for Taeyong. He reclines in his seat and looks at Taeyong seriously, “If Minhyuk will ever end up trying to crawl back at me, then I swear to you, Lee Taeyong, I will break his dark heart for you.”

Taeyong’s face subtly lightened up at Doyoung’s reassurance.

That night, Taeyong was in an oddly calm mood. He couldn’t find it in himself to decipher what he’s feeling, or where it stems. But he knew that he’s going to have a good, deep sleep tonight.

He received a text message from his swim coach, stating that their swim practice for the next season will start the next week. Taeyong forwards it to his team, and the next thing he knew, he forwards it to Kim Doyoung too.

**To Whom I Owe My Life**

_? You might have forgotten, but I sing, not swim._

**Taeyong Lee**

_hmm.. u wanna attend our practice?_

**To Whom I Owe My Life**

_Yes, I am not busy next week thank you for asking, but why would I?_

**Taeyong Lee**

_pls :) _

**To Whom I Owe My Life**

_Fine. _

\--

_  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updates are regular, every 3-5 days!
> 
> pls let me know how it is! :D
> 
> also, thank you so much for reading and for all your kind comments! im working to make it an enjoyable read.


	5. Chapter 5

The swim team starts their practice as early as 6 in the morning, and Taeyong isn’t so sure if Doyoung would really have the will to wake up at dawn just to watch him.

As the captain, naturally Taeyong arrived earlier than the rest, and initiates the warm ups. His juniors and members greet him casually. It’s baffling to Taeyong how people seemed to have the memory of a chimpanzee. They’ve already forgotten about his failed-miserably relationship after only more than a month of their breakup. Even Hyungwon acts like there’s no beef between his bestfriend who’s his captain’s ex lover.

The team has already been through multiple laps when people started coming in to watch. A few girls and some guys are huddled together in the bleachers and are watching in awe. They’re not to blame though, anyone who walks in would also have their mouth watering with the sight of dripping topless college men, not to mention that they have the looks and built of a model. Taeyong is the captain for multiple reasons.

Donghyuck has already arrived with a bag slung unto his shoulder. Being the supportive, loving boyfriend that he is, he’s always present during the practices too whenever he doesn’t have a schedule. It’s one of the _few _admirable traits he possess, according to Taeyong.

An hour is left before their practice ends and Taeyong is already pretty positive that Doyoung had slept in this morning. It’s not really surprising since it’s early, but in Taeyong’s guts lies a heavy feeling: disappointment.

The indoor pool door flew opens and Taeyong’s head instantly turns. A group of girls entered.

He shakes his head. It’s their 10-minute water break and he’s thinking about Doyoung. _Silly, why should I be disappointed?_

“Taeyong hyung!” His eyes darts at a Donghyuck waving at him, beside Mark drinking from jug. Beside them stood the very man he’s waiting for.

His face unconsciously lit up and still dripping wet with a towel covering his trunk, he bolts across the gym.

“You actually made it!” Taeyong’s voice was exceptionally cheerful. His body is energized with a rush like he just gobbled up a can of sweets.

Some girls on the bleachers were gushing. Taeyong is a campus twink, but that doesn’t erase the fact that he’s one of the most attractive men to exist even for the females.

Doyoung raises an eco-bag he brought and hands Taeyong a bottle of energy drink. “How could I not support my hot swimmer boyfriend?”

Taeyong could feel his face burning, so he hurriedly took the drink and shoved it in his mouth to conceal the dreadful blush. He knew Doyoung’s statement was for the show, and it’s silly to be caught off guard.

_Jesus Christ why am I blushing?_

They chat for a while before Taeyong went back to the pool, much energized than he was earlier. _It’s the energy drink, _he excused to himself.

By the end of their practice, Doyoung invited a lunch together. "A double date!" Donghyuck exclaimed. Their practice ended well- their coach was convinced that they could recover a win this season. Everyone worked hard and it’s just their first day.

“How was it Doyoung?” Hyuck asks over Chinese lunch.

“Impressive.”

Taeyong beams at the comment, and Doyoung adds, “That one guy was cute too.”

“You can just say my name,” Taeyong inserts, causing Mark to laugh.

“That one guy, he’s taller than you,” Doyoung continues, and it’s Donghyuck’s turn to burst in laughter.

Taeyong furrowed his brows in confusion, because fact that Taeyong could be classified as short in their team.

“Oh my god who? Describe,” Donghyuck pries.

“Black hair, thin face, really tall I must say,” Doyoung couldn’t find words to differentiate the guy from the others.

Donghyuck searches on his phone and shows a photo of one of the swimmers, Wong Yukhei, “This one?”

“No, the guy I’m talking about is really pale.”

“Try Hyunwoo hyung,” Mark pitches in as Donghyuck types on the phone and shows it to Doyoung. “This one?”

Doyoung takes a good look and says, “No, he’s bulky. The guy is lean, his built is kinda like mine.”

Taeyong stares in bewilderment as he thinks he already has an idea who Doyoung was talking about. Donghyuck’s face flashed and types in furiously and shows to Doyoung, “Dong Sicheng!”

“Yes! So it’s Dong Sicheng,” Doyoung exclaims. Mark and Donghyuck nods in triumph.

Taeyong faked a cough to interrupt, “Excuse me, but remember that you’re dating me.”

Doyoung faced him and smirks, “I simply said he’s _cute,_ these two were the ones who searched for him,” he shrugs.

Donghyuck chuckled heartily, “Oh Taeyong hyung, are you jealous? I thought you were only fake dating?”

Taeyong bit his lips in embarrassment, what even in hell is Donghyuck saying? “No you little fuck! I’m just-“ Taeyong stutters, barely finding words to excuse himself, “I’m just saying! We might get caught that we’re faking it!”

“Chill hyung,” Mark giggles, “Doyoung hyung just thinks that Sicheng is cute, right?” Mark signals Doyoung, who was obviously amused of Taeyong’s little outburst.

“He _is_ cute, I might consider after, you know, the fake dating thing,” Doyoung digs deeper into the grave.

Taeyong turned into a deeper color of crimson. Of course nothing’s wrong with that, they’re just really good friends and he’d be happy for Doyoung!

“S-sure! Of course! There’s no problem-” Taeyong was rushing through his words and Mark was trying hard not to snort, “Yes! After we breakup! Of course you can do that!” At that point no one knows what Taeyong is rambling, and quite frankly, Taeyong has no clue too.

Donghyuck shushed him and Taeyong stays quite throughout the meal, afraid that he’d say something that might cause his precious life again.

That night, Taeyong was awfully bothered by what happened during lunch. He knows in himself that there is no reason for him to be even slightly affected by Doyoung’s remark. And he himself knows it’s true too, Dong Sicheng is indeed cute.

It took him ten whole minutes to compose a coherent message to Doyoung:

**Taeyong Lee**

_um I just want to, clear things.. _

_you can date sicheng after _

_u know, fake dating me_

_im not jealous! _

**To Whom I Owe My Life**

_I happen to know that without you clarifying it._

**Taeyong Lee**

_oh ok. just saying! _

_Donghyuck is always like that soooo_

**To Whom I Owe My Life**

_I really, really know. Why are you so defensive about it? _

The question hits Taeyong cold in the face. Right, why is he so defensive?

**Taeyong Lee**

_im not!! Just don’t want things to get awkward_

_between us_

_bc, u know.._

_i value you_

Taeyong blushes deeply with what he just sent.

**Taeyong Lee**

_as a friend ofc!!!_

_anw i gotta do sumthing_

_good night!!!!!!!_

**To Whom I Owe My Life**

_Good night, Taeyong._

Taeyong covers his head with a blanket, tossing and turning around. _What the hell. _

\--

The next days went back to normal, as if that awkward situation never happened. He pretended it never happened. Maybe Doyoung and his own friends has forgotten about it.

The swim team’s next practice comes in a few days later. Unfortunately, Doyoung has a morning class that day, so he couldn’t attend Taeyong’s practice. If anything, it sent relief to Taeyong. Not really sure where the relief was from, he shrugs it off.

Taeyong was unusually observant of his colleague that morning. Of Dong Sicheng, to be specific.

Dong Sicheng really is good-looking, he has to give him that. He’s also one of the members with the best records. _Of course, after me,_ he thought.

Taeyong didn’t really know what he was thinking when he approached Sicheng after their practice, unknowing that Mark was watching him with wide-eyes.

“Hey Winwin.”

Sicheng, who was just packing his towel and swimwear, turns to him, “Taeyong hyung!”

Taeyong stares at him for a good amount of time, trying to make sense of what he’s about to do.

_Fuck it. _

“I have a question.”

Sicheng looks at him quizzically, “Sure, what is it hyung?”

Taeyong scratched his head, “Are you single?” He blurts.

Dong Sicheng was sent into a fire pit- his cheeks were burning profusely as he meets the gaze of his captain, “Yes,” he whispers. Deep inside he’s really dying, thinking that he’s in trouble. It’d be really awkward to date someone in your team, but how in the world would Sicheng have guts to reject their _captain?_

Taeyong realized how bad it sounds and alters his intentions, so he clarifies, “No! I’m not- I’m not going to ask you out,” he waves both his hands desperately, not knowing how to help himself out, “It’s my friend who was asking!”

He instantly regrets what came out of his mouth. _Kim Doyoung would fucking kill me._

“Oh,” Sicheng sighs in relief, and adds, “Who?”

Taeyong panics inwardly. He taps his foot and started looking around as if he’d find answers. He doesn’t _want_ to say Doyoung. Doyoung would kill him. Worse, it would ruin their fake dating, but he can’t think of anyone to set up anyone in this mess-

“Yuta!” He reveals. _I am so sorry Yuta. _

Dong Sicheng’s eyes widened and he fidgets his shirt, “_Nakamoto Yuta_?”

“Yes…” Taeyong barely whispered.

“The one who plays soccer?” Sicheng further asks, and Taeyong’s guilt eats him more.

“Yeah…” Taeyong looks down to avoid Sicheng’s stare.

“Oh okay,” Dong Sicheng left, bewildered out of his life.

Taeyong wasn’t exactly sure of what he did. Neither was Mark, who was watching the whole time with his hands cupping his mouth, without a clue if he should approach his friend or act like he didn’t see anything at all.

\--

Doyoung wonders what kind of poisoned fruit Taeyong has consumed. One moment he was literally begging him to watch his swim practices, the next he gets a message from Taeyong that the chlorine from the pool would damage his circulatory system so he shouldn’t watch the following practice for good measures.

Evidently, Taeyong doesn’t know his next move. He figures that the best way to deal with this is to keep the waters calm. In his own words, avoid everyone he has wronged. Everyone, namely Yuta and Sicheng.

It was easy with Yuta. He just stopped visiting their apartment for a good couple of days and tried his best not to run into him. It wasn’t exactly a walk in the park with Sicheng. You can’t perfectly avoid someone you practice with, so Taeyong’s solution is to keep their conversations as short as possible.

He agreed with Doyoung to keep their relationship lie low for a while. No normal functioning couple would broadcast every date they have, and so they let it sit quietly for a moment.

Taeyong thinks he’s already avoided all possible calamities for the mean time. What he didn’t know is it might just already be beginning.

He was wrapped in his blanket, having a movie marathon of the Lord of the Rings with Johnny when he receives a message.

From Minhyuk.

  
He lets out a scream without hesitation when he reads the message.

**Minhyuk**

_are you really dating doyoung? _

Johnny peeks at him for a while before deciding to ignore him, thinking that Taeyong is just overreacting as usual.

Taeyong sends a screenshot of the text to Doyoung.

**To Whom I Owe My Life**

_Just say yes? Why is that a difficult question?_

It wasn’t a difficult question. Of course he confirmed the relationship. The big deal was Minhyuk finally contacted him. Not through Doyoung or through his friends, but him, personally. Taeyong's thoughts were already racing. 

**Minhyuk**

_Why? U really already over me?_

Taeyong could hear his heartbeat in his ears. _What a total asshole. _He didn’t realize that his fingers were shaking when he was typing his reply.

**Lee Taeyong**

_the world doesnt revolve around u minhyuk_

_get over urself._

Again, he sends a screenshot to Doyoung just to validate himself.

**To Whom I Owe My Life**

_Bitchy Taeyong. I like it. Keep it up, babe._

Taeyong felt a bit of ease. At that moment, Doyoung’s presence is all he needed to keep himself calm.

**Minhyuk**

_ive dated you for 6 months Taeyong. i know u to the core._

_look. Im really sorry for what i did. that was really wrong_

He couldn’t believe his eyes. Minhyuk… apologizing? In one sentence? To whom does he owe this?

He sends a screenshot to Doyoung.

**Taeyong**

_?? y are u saying this  
stop messing w me_

Taeyong steps out of their dorm to get air, not realizing he was already holding his breath all this time. There's no question that Minhyuk still has that effect on him. If it even toned down even the slightest, has no clue. After all, he's the first person he truly loved and cared for. No matter how much of a devil's work he is...

**Minhyuk**

_im really sorry _

_seeing u with doyoung just hits different_

_lets meet???_

His phone is still vibrating. More messages from Minhyuk. He couldn’t bring it in himself to open the messages, and his eyes were already burning. Minhyuk has it in him. He really know Taeyong well. He may have a strong image, but Taeyong is quite simple. His feelings is his Achilles' heel. 

This isn’t a part of his plan, however, he didn’t really have a concrete plan to begin with, so the stream of events isn’t exactly expected. The cold wind gives him chills, but his face was burning from all his bottled up feelings already exploding right before his eyes.

Doyoung rings him. Taeyong felt like he found the light at the end of the tunnel, as he answers in a heartbeat.

“Doyoung,” his voice was exasperated.

“A stupid question to ask, but are you alright?”

Taeyong started choking on his own breath. He inhales sharply and answers, “He’s still texting, I don’t know what to say.”

“Then don’t say anything—“ Doyoung’s line was cut. Confused, Taeyong tries to ring him again.

A phone rings not too far from him.

“Why are you outside?” A man in comfortable hoodies and specs nears him.

Taeyong squints his eyes to confirm if his sight isn’t just tricking him. For a moment, Taeyong wasn’t thinking about his stupid, asshole ex. “You’re wearing glasses!”

The right question hits Taeyong a few moments later. “Why are you here?”

“Obviously I’m trying to help you, but why the hell are you out? It’s literally chilling here,” Doyoung hugs himself.

Clueless is Taeyong’s constant mood. Clueless what to do, clueless on what the hell he’s feeling, and clueless as to why he does certain things, like what he did next. He hugged Doyoung tightly.

Caught off guards, Doyoung didn’t know how to respond. Taeyong breaks away before Doyoung could even think about hugging back. His eyes were glistening, tears threatening to fall, and his face up to his ears is punch blood red both from the tension and the unfriendly cold wind.

Comfort. Taeyong finds comfort in Doyoung. It’s one thing he thinks he shouldn’t hold back from feeling, because Doyoung brings him the most precious comfort that fits perfectly in all the right places, like finding a perfect size of a hoodie.

Taeyong invites him in his dorm. They were met by Johnny who unsurprisingly fell asleep on the couch, with their television still on.

They sat together on Taeyong’s bed, figuring out the next step. For a moment, they just sat there next to each other, neatly covered in comforters.

Taeyong couldn’t be more grateful for Doyoung’s presence at the moment. Johnny would’ve been the first person he’d run to in situations like this, but somehow Doyoung has found his rank higher now.

“I’m not replying,” Taeyong says with finality.

Doyoung turns to him, “Why?”

Taeyong takes a moment to answer, “I don’t want to… it’s messed up, I don’t want to make it bigger.”

He stares at the slash of light reflected on Doyoung’s cheek. His eyes are undoubtedly restless, and his hair is all over the place.

“You can sleep here, I’ll sleep on Johnny’s bed,” Taeyong points at Johnny lying on the couch. He has placed a blanket over his friend.

Doyoung smiles at him, “I’m not staying here.”

Both Taeyong’s brows went up, “Why? It’s late,” It is late, and Taeyong isn’t just saying it because he wants Doyoung to stay…

Doyoung shakes his head, “I took a cab here, I can take a cab back.”

Taeyong couldn’t hide the disappointment on his face. For some reasons, Doyoung just really didn’t want to spend the night. “I didn’t come here for a sleepover, Taeyong. I just really checked on you.”

Warmth crept its way into Taeyong’s chest. He has a strong urge to move closer to Doyoung and hug him again, but now that he’s _thinking _about it, it’s too much. So quietly, he says, “Thank you.”

  
Doyoung chuckles. “Suddenly so timid?”

That night, Doyoung made sure that Taeyong’s already fully in peace before he left. It didn’t happen quickly when Taeyong was still insisting that he stay for the night, but Doyoung is more determined to go. Doyoung won, of course, and Taeyong ended the night with a thank you message full of heart emojis.

\--

It’s a fact that Taeyong has been a mess lately, but someone has been experiencing Taeyong’s radiating chaos more than the others. Yuta doesn’t understand the deal with the swimmer. Not that he has good senses, but Taeyong is just _too _easy to read. He could see how Taeyong becomes adamantly too nervous and awkward whenever he shows up, like how Taeyong has been finding ways to sit at the opposite of the room, and he can’t figure why.

The answer to Yuta’s query arrives in a form of a message.

Yuta decided to sleep in that morning when he woke up to a message.

**dingdongitssicheng **

_Hi! I was waiting for u to msg first… I guess u got shy? Hehe_

Yuta sits up from his bed as soon as he read the message. Curiously, he checked to see the account.

_He cute, _Yuta thought. He clicks into a picture by the pool with the rest of the university’s swim team. _Hot. _

As Nakamoto Yuta, he wouldn’t let an opportunity pass like that. _Maybe one of my drunken one night stands? _

He decided to play along with the “shy” impression.

**nakamothoe**

_heyyy sorry_

_i must have lost ur number or sumn??? _

_at least u found me here ;)_

**dingdongitssicheng**

_taeyong gave u my number too? _

This time, Yuta has become fully awake. What does Taeyong have to do with this?

He gets up and rushes outside to see the surprised Taeyong who was just playing with Donghyuck, looking like he saw a ghost.

“Yuta!” Taeyong says in panic. “Donghyuck said you’re out!”

Of course Donghyuck knows everything. He isn’t boyfriends with Mark for nothing. And of course, Taeyong doesn’t have a clue about it.

Yuta slow claps at Taeyong.

“Dong Sicheng.”

Taeyong gets up, as if ready to run.

  
Yuta pounces to him in a hug and a scream. “Why didn’t you tell me you were setting me up! I could’ve messaged him first!”  


Taeyong was puzzled. The reaction he expected involved yelling too, but out of frustration at that. Then it registers to him why Yuta was excited instead, “Wow! Sicheng really is that cute?”

Donghyuck howls like a lunatic at Taeyong’s remark, knowing too well where it stems. “What a jealous, jealous bitch.”

  
Taeyong glares at him. “_Sicheng is cute! _But why is everyone hyped about him! Jesus.”

Taeyong goes back to the video game, and Yuta looks at him funnily. “I really don’t care Yong, just thank you. Now I have a date for our trip.”

Taeyong pauses his game. “What trip?”

“The one Jaehyun mentioned,” Donghyuck chimes in.

“Huh?”

“Maybe if you bother checking our group chat instead of texting your boyfriend all day,” Yuta comments, earning a snort and a high five from Donghyuck.

And there it was, Jaehyun’s message that states they’re going out of town for the weekend. It’s that rare time that everyone’s schedule is cleared up before the swim team’s intensive practice. Their group always goes on trips like this to relieve themselves from academic stress.

“He didn’t say we can bring other people,” Taeyong reads the message out loud.

“He didn’t say we can’t,” Yuta winks at him before texting into their group that he’ll bring someone.

Donghyuck was giggling like a witch, “Come on Taeyong hyung, just say you want to bring someone too.”

Without a name mentioned, Taeyong knows in himself that he does, and his name is lingering on his mind the whole time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, thank you so much for reaching this point. 
> 
> also, im really motivated by your comments, so pls do leave some if u have time to spare. thank u so much for doing so, it really helps me get this going! <3
> 
> updates are as usual :)


	6. Chapter 6

Thrilled isn’t exactly the word to describe Doyoung when he heard about the trip. For starters, their destination doesn’t resonate with the weather.

“This is insane. It’s almost winter for fuck’s sake,” Doyoung whined while loading his luggage at the back of the rented van.

The dawn has barely even broken when the eight of them met up in front of Yuta and Donghyuck’s apartment. Trips such as this is a rare occurrence for the group, which explains their promptness despite the early call time.

Yuta successfully charmed Sicheng who’s more than willing to go with them. They’ve learned that Sicheng’s got a crush on Yuta for a long time, and thanks to cupid Taeyong, their whirlwind romance has happened. Thankfully, the rest of them warmed up to Sicheng quickly. He’s just too easy to like.

Among the eight passengers, one is skeptic about their trip.

“We won’t swim!” Taeyong promises Doyoung with a wide grin. If there’s anyone who’s evidently more excited about this than the rest, it’s Taeyong who even packed his luggage three days before their 1-night trip.

“Don’t worry Doyoung, we’ll keep Taeyong away from you," Donghyuck reassures.

“I’ll leave your fucking luggages Hyuck,” Taeyong threatens. The rest of the group just laughs as they board the van driven by Johnny, with Jaehyun in the passenger seat. The back could be pictured as the lovers’ seat, except only two pairs are actually dating.

What scared Doyoung even more is the sight of folded tents at the back of the van. He couldn’t really be blamed though. How the group has concluded to travel to Naksan beach at the threats of winter is still a mystery.

It’s 5 in the morning but Taeyong is frenzied with energy, something Doyoung couldn’t fathom. The ride was silent, but somehow, Taeyong managed to weird Doyoung out with his chatters.

“There is so much room for two,” Doyoung points to Taeyong who was scooted awfully too close to him.

Taeyong just smiles, “I want to look out the window!”

Doyoung furrowed his brows at him, obviously still spirited with early morning crankiness, “In case you still haven’t seen, this van has windows on both sides.”

Sheepishly, Taeyong scoots over closer, leaving a little to no space between them. He looks straight into Doyoung’s sleepy eyes and said, “I like this view better.”

“You weird fuck,” Doyoung looks away and tried to focus his attention outside. Taeyong was such a chatterbox, but he has his ways of spilling it out from Doyoung that he hasn’t set a foot in Naksan beach without getting into his nerves.

Seoul isn’t that far from the beach, but strangely, this is Doyoung’s first time in Naksan. And so the dread he was feeling hours before was replaced by awe. They arrived at a perfect beach time, and despite the sharp wind, the sun made their faces trickle with sweat.

Taeyong couldn’t help but stare at Doyoung who was eager to help set up the tents. It’s amusing how the sight of perfectly aligned pine trees and the salty smell of seawater completely altered Doyoung’s mood.

After setting it, Mark was giggling like crazy when he realized something. “Oh my god, how are we going to sleep there?” He points at the three erect tents.

“I don’t see the problem,” Johnny was standing proudly beside their work. Jaehyun has already crawled inside one of the three, while the others are enjoying the sand like little children.

“Don’t overreact Mark! One tent can fit four people, it’s perfect,” Yuta was grinning from ear to ear as he already took his shirt off and invited Winwin to run around. Not even the hawkish air can stop the soccer player.

The morning was beyond amazing. Even Johnny who drove for hours was suddenly energized by the sight of the sparkling blue sea.

Doyoung and Taeyong spent the day walking around bare-footed while collecting seashells, as both of them refuses to battle the cold water. Taeyong was beyond happy about it.

“I’d be lying if I say I’m still dreading this,” Doyoung was seated sprawled facing the sea, letting the waves catch his feet. Taeyong sat next to him.

“You’re welcome,” Taeyong smirks at him, and Doyoung just rolls his eyes and smiled.

  
“You never really strike me as a beach person,” Taeyong says.

“Yeah? Because I’m not.”

Just then, Taeyong’s eyes glistened with mischief. He stands up and offers his hand to Doyoung, while Doyoung just stared at it curiously.

“Come on!” Taeyong invites. Frankly, his energy has been really weird since the morning, and it won’t seem to go down any sooner.

“Where?”

Impatiently, Taeyong grabs Doyoung up and leaves their bucket of seashells. Adrenaline pumps into Taeyong’s system as he holds Doyoung’s hand, and basically drags him.

  
Doyoung, realizing where they’re heading, struggles out of Taeyong’s grip. “Taeyong! I swear to god!”

Taeyong just laughs heartily as the cold water touches their feet.

“It’s cold! I don’t swim,” Doyoung complains as they go in deeper, but all Taeyong cares about is how Doyoung’s hand is with his, now tightening the hold instead of struggling.

Not too far from them, they could see Sicheng doing the exact same thing with Yuta. “The swim team shares a single brain cell,” Doyoung remarked.

“I’m swim team captain, Doyoung. You really don’t have to worry,” Taeyong splashes water into Doyoung’s face, once they’re waist deep into the sea.

“Sure Taeyong, but you’re not exactly Poseidon nor a medic who can save me once I freeze to death,” but Taeyong just laughs as he splashes more into Doyoung, who was whining and threatening to run away, but knows in himself that he couldn’t, fearing of his dear life.

The water level goes up to their chest and the waves pushing their bodies became more forceful. As a child of waters, Taeyong is used to controlling himself. But not Doyoung. Another wave takes over and Doyoung almost trips on a rock- almost, as he found himself hugging Taeyong for his dear, dear life.

Not that the sea was in any ways drugged, but Taeyong most certainly was feeling a kind of high at the moment. It was Doyoung who was almost victimized by the deep sea… but it’s Taeyong who seems breathless that time. Literally.

“Fine, let’s go back,” Taeyong announces, flustered. Confused, but of course relieved, Doyoung follows, still tugging behind Taeyong who could feel Doyoung’s heartbeat pressed against his back.

They’ve decided to stroll around the beach after getting dried up. They spot a souvenir booth not too far from their tents and decided to get a bottle necklace.

“The seashells, they fit in here,” Doyoung smiles, realizing how the little trinkets they picked up could be brought back to the city.

“Didn’t know you had this corny side of you,” Taeyong comments, glad to point out something humane about Doyoung.

“_Sentimental,” _Doyoung corrects.

The real entertainment comes at the bite of the dark. The gang had dinner over beer and grilled fish, the eight of them circled beside a bonfire. It’s a pleasure that the beach is only crowded by a few groups, that they could enjoy a bonfire for themselves.

Taeyong sits next to Doyoung. Amongst the others, the two of them has already drunk a few before the others.

Intoxicated, Doyoung says, “You’re extra clingy today, you are.”

“And?” Flushed, Taeyong shrugs off the comment and takes another sip. It’s true that they’ve never been a meter away from each other the whole day, and guess whose fault it is.

“Beer by the sea is not complete without a game,” Jaehyun starts. They started passing around a bottle for each, with Yuta asking for another one for himself.

“Truth or dare!” Mark suggests, leaning on to Donghyuck.

“No fun,” Yuta comments.

“I agree, we already know everyone’s dirt at this point,” Johnny seconds.

“Everyone except those two,” Donghyuck cheekily points at Sicheng and Doyoung.

Sicheng’s face warmed up while Doyoung just shrugs cockily, earning a chuckle from Jaehyun who was amused with a drunk Doyoung. If anything, it’s Taeyong who looked deeply concerned.

“Alright! An initiation,” Jaehyun commemorates.

“Truth or shot twice,” Johnny grins as he hands each of them a shot glass.

Taeyong leans and digs both his hands unto the sand as he watches what is about to unfold.

“Okay! Who’d like to start a question?” Johnny grabs a bottle and holds it on to his mouth as a mic.

  
  
Donghyuck howls and asks for the bottle, “For contestant Dong Sicheng,” Mark drumrolls unto the mini table in front of them, “In all honesty, how the fuck did you like this Yuta?” The rest responded with a roar of laughter. Even Yuta agrees with the question.

“Yuta is… really hot,” Sicheng starts off softly, and earns a laugh when he takes a shot voluntarily, “I watch their soccer practices before, he’s really charming,” he continues as he blushes deeply.

Yuta, whose ego is clearly fed, pinches Sicheng’s cheeks, “You’re so cute, and I agree with you.”

“Okay enough with that before Yuta’s head bloats,” Jaehyun says. “Doyoung.”

“Fire away,” Doyoung answers confidently. Taeyong digs his hands deeper into the sand as watches with a frightened expression.

“Since everyone here already knows your setup with Taeyong…. so would you date,” Donghyuck chokes on his beer and Mark pats him, “or just fuck anyone here?” Jaehyun asks with equal mischievous confidence.

Taeyong watches as Doyoung flashes a grin he’s never seen before, “Of course.”

The crowd claps and Donghyuck nods approvingly, while watching Taeyong finish down a bottle in one go, “Great,” Taeyong mumbles.

“Back to Sicheng,” Johnny shouts.

  
“And what about you Sicheng hyung, if not Yuta,” Mark excitedly asks, knowing too well he’s adding fuel to the fire, “Would you… consider someone else, anyone from this circle?” Mark grins as Taeyong’s face glums darker.

“Foul!” Yuta calls.

“He can just take the two shots,” Mark giggles.

“What! You’re not even official yet!” Johnny chuckles.

“Fine, true though….” Yuta says in defeat.

  
Sicheng looks at Yuta delicately, and Yuta nods at him. “I guess,” Sicheng answers gingerly.

Doyoung bursted into laughter and Taeyong’s jaw dropped, while the others cheered excitedly. Mark and Donghyuck were pushing each other, knowing all too well what’s going on.

“Who!” Donghyuck pries.

“No! That’s already two questions!” Taeyong blurts. Not that Taeyong is strict with the rules of the game, but inside of him he had a feeling he wouldn’t be able to take it if Sicheng responds with the _wrong _answer.

“Oh hyung,” Donghyuck shakes his head at him. Doyoung throws him a teasing look, but Taeyong was too upset to care.

“Okay then, so back to Doyoung!” Jaehyun says.

“Bring it on,” If there’s one thing that alcohol brings out of Doyoung, it’s the unrelenting cockiness.

“Any chances that you’d consider Taeyong for real?” Jaehyun asks without hesitation.

“Sweet Jesus,” Mark couldn’t help blurting, and Donghyuck laughs at his boyfriend’s expression. The game is so much fun for the both of them.

“What the fuck!” Taeyong exclaims as he throws a handful of sand to Jaehyun, who was clearly enjoying the moment.

“We all know the answer to this,” Johnny laughs.

Doyoung was disarmed by the question. He stares at Taeyong for a moment, watching the light leave Taeyong’s face as the boy turns pale. Doyoung took two shots.

“Bro!” Yuta shouts in despair. If Taeyong’s jaw could fall to the ground, it would. The crowd went wild for a good minute, as Mark and Donghyuck were giggling like teenagers.

“Doyoung! I expected better from you,” Johnny says dramatically.

Doyoung just shrugs with a smug look, “What? I like to keep the suspense.”

Taeyong swears he was sinking into the sand at that moment.

\--

After a couple more rounds of drinks, the group decided to hit the hay as it was already getting really chilly. It’s almost winter after all.

“Jaehyun would stay with Yuta and Sicheng, I’d be with you two,” Johnny tells Mark and Donghyuck as they were arranging their tents.

“And you’re leaving those two alone?” Donghyuck disapprovingly points at Doyoung and Taeyong, who would get a tent for themselves.

“Yeah? I’m not leaving you little fucks alone, we won’t let anyone get laid in these sacred tents.”

Donghyuck snickers, and Mark commented, “You picked the wrong couple to let off the hook.”

Taeyong curses at them before the boyfriends went into their tent.

“I have bad news,” Johnny says as he hands the sleeping bags to Taeyong and Doyoung, “You got the cheap sleeping bags.”

“Why the fuck?” Taeyong hugs the sleeping bag, and indeed, it’s lighter than a warm, cozy, down sleeping bag. Taeyong was already swaying drunk, while Doyoung was already inside.

“We got Doyoung and Sicheng! Sorry baby boy, no budget for a high quality bag. You got each other anyway. Good night!” Johnny disappears into their tent before Taeyong could even complain.

He enters the dimly lit tent, freezing from the weather, and settles. Although obviously less insulated, their own sleeping bags were actually quite large.

Taeyong explains their unfortunate situation to Doyoung.

“This is discrimination,” Taeyong whines as he covers himself in the warmest coat.

“You’re so whiny,” Doyoung giggles.

Taeyong, although tipsy himself, was wildly amused by Doyoung’s drunkness.

“I’m scared,” Taeyong says and hides into his bag.

“Of?”

“You,” Taeyong peeks at Doyoung, who was just sitting and blushing wildly.

Taeyong has never dealt with a drunk Doyoung, and it’s as if he’s with an entirely different creature.

“It’s cold,” Doyoung says, and Taeyong of course agrees. It was literally freezing and they were out there, on a chilly tent and a sleeping bag that could barely keep them warm.

  
  
Doyoung stands up, takes his blanket and moves to the bag where lies. “What are you doing?” Taeyong sits up.

“I said it’s cold.”

“I know…”

“Let’s share blankets… so… we have double covers…” Doyoung says confusedly, as if it was such a hard math to do.

Doyoung, although drunk, was still completely smarter than a tipsy Taeyong. Now they’re into a single bag with thicker blankets. Also a few inches apart from each other.

“Much better,” Doyoung says contently, his cheeks flushed. Tucked together, it was indeed so much warmer. Taeyong stares at Doyoung who could barely open his eyes.

“Come, hug me,” Doyoung orders nonchalantly.

Surely, the words he heard weren’t just a fancy created by his tipsy mind. Taeyong could feel a whole animal zoo at his stomach. “What?”

Doyoung turns to him, “I said hug me. Why do I always need to repeat myself?”

His mind was going haywire. _What exactly is he trying to do?_

“Johnny said… we can’t…” Taeyong stutters and stops himself, and at that point he isn’t really sure of what’s stopping him.

“What? We can’t warm each other up?”

Taeyong bites his lips, no clue if Doyoung is even aware of what he said.

Without a protest, Taeyong inched closer and wraps his arm around Doyoung.

“Why the hell are you so stiff,” Doyoung giggles and Taeyong could feel Doyoung’s breath on his face. Doyoung’s body was indeed warm and all Taeyong wanted to do was to hug tighter. It was more than just comfortable…

“You’re so drunk,” Taeyong whispers.

“I am not,” Doyoung’s rough, groggy voice sent a shiver down Taeyong’s spine. He could feel his own body get warmer as Doyoung wraps a leg around him, ultimately closing the gap between them. Taeyong tenses up even more as a response.

“Relax, no homo if that’s what you’re so worried about,” At that point Doyoung was already breathing into his face, and Taeyong was only a knock away from breaking down. He studies Doyoung’s face: his heavy eyes, cheeks crimson red, and his lips… were moist, inviting, only a peck away from his own.

  
“You’re staring,” Doyoung smirks.

Taeyong digs his hand unto Doyoung’s back. He thought a word would make it lose it, but what happened was even worse. Doyoung lifts Taeyong’s chin.

Right then, Taeyong lost it. He leaned in forward and plants a soft peck on Doyoung’s lips- it was soft, damp, and warm. Just exactly how he _imagined _it to be.

He pulls away, frightened, as he realized what he did. But Doyoung’s eyes which used to be heavy, sleepy, has turned dark and deep.

Doyoung pulls Taeyong back, this time their lips sinking into each other deeper, more intensely. Taeyong couldn’t help himself as both his hands now roam Doyoung’s back, their legs intertwined.

With every touch was roughness; the impatience could be felt by the eager hands and the quick lips that refuses to break.

He hovered Doyoung, careful not to put too much weight at him. As their tongues meet, Taeyong has already lost grasp of his senses- it was flooded with the sensation, of Doyoung underneath him, of his lips against his own.

Doyoung was pushing Taeyong deeper into him as he clutch to his hair, letting his own zeal release through his tight hold unto Taeyong who doesn’t seem to mind, and was even enjoying it.

His mind is battling between keeping his eyes closed to savor every suck, every lick Doyoung’s tongue does to his lip. On the other thought he was curious, for some reasons he feels he needed to see and watch Doyoung’s face, his expression, if he has any at all.

A pause, a quick gasp for air which barely took a moment. It wasn’t even a second when they pulled away to breathe when Doyoung lunges back in, this time pushing Taeyong to his back. Taeyong lets out a soft grunt, a hungry, eager sound that empowered Doyoung even more.

Doyoung trails Taeyong’s jaw, not leaving a skin untouched. It was the softness that made it more delicate, more desirable than it could already be. And there actually is no way to stop when Taeyong whimpers, practically begs for him to continue. Taeyong whines and he wonders to himself for how long had he been yearning this?

“Doyoung,” Taeyong mouths with all the will that he could, as the other has already been planting under his jaw, sucking what could be sucked. Taeyong reaches for what he could, the cloth beneath him, and the other hand grasps Doyoung’s shirt.

Taeyong failed to suppress a soft groan when he felt Doyoung’s warm hands slowly knead his stomach and reaches his back. It felt like being electrified, and it kept him wanting more.

Doyoung finds his way into Taeyong’s belly as he skirts the shirt up, “Hmm,” he hums into Taeyong’s stomach, and Taeyong can no longer take the teasing as his hips arches up involuntarily and moans rather too loudly.

Just then the tent makes a distracting noise, as if forcefully moved. The both of them were startled and had their wits back as Doyoung jumped next to Taeyong immediately.

“The fuck,” Taeyong mutters in between pants, “was that.”

“Wind… probably….” Doyoung says softly, turned against Taeyong.

Taeyong stares at the ceiling for a few seconds before redoing his shirt and tucks himself in. He hugs Doyoung from behind and wraps his legs around him.

“Good night,” Taeyong whispers.

Doyoung doesn’t answer. Taeyong has no idea if Doyoung has already drowsed off, and so he did too. But there was a lingering, aching, grieving feeling inside of him that made it a bit difficult to fall asleep that night.

\--

The two of them were the last to wake up that morning and what woke them was more annoying than a stubborn alarm clock. It was Donghyuck, standing outside their now open tent, assigned to wake them up for their drive back to town.

“I told you they fucked!” Was his booming shout when he found the two, entangled on each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't expect this chapter to be difficult to write ;-; so i actually have no idea if it's any good, apologies for mistakes, had no time to reread it... pls do leave a feedback if you did, in any way, enjoy it. ur feedback & comments helps me a LOT. 
> 
> thank u so much for helping me keep this story going.


	7. Chapter 7

“Hey, were there any insects in your tent last night?” Mark asks.

That morning, the group is scheduled to drive back to Seoul, so naturally the first thing they did was to repack the tents and their luggage.

Johnny gives him a confused look, “What do you mean?” They were all busy packing and still out of their wits, most especially Doyoung and Taeyong who seemed to be so out of it.

Doyoung was helping Jaehyun dissemble the tents, while the rest of them were loading the luggage back into the van at the parking space. Taeyong’s hair was still sticking in different directions as he helps with the luggage.

Donghyuck and Sicheng’s attention were caught too.

“Mosquitos? Cockroach?” Mark continues.

Yuta instantly panics and scratches his body, “What the fuck, really?!”

“There were crawlers in our tent?!” Donghyuck was getting worried too.

Mark, keeping a straight face, said, “Yeah, I saw a bite….”

Sicheng opens his mouth as he innocently realizes it, “Ah yes! I saw that too! Taeyong has an insect bite mark.”

Taeyong stopped picking up the bag when he realizes what the fuck they were talking about. His soul instantly woke up as he adjusts his shirt in panic, knowing his death is just around the corner.

“Holy shit?!” Yuta exclaims, and quickly examines Taeyong, “I’ll take a look.”

Donghyuck’s lips forms a despicable smirk as he gets a feeling of what’s happening too.

“No! Don’t touch it, you’ll get infected!” Taeyong shouts, backing away from Yuta who’s about to grab him. In his mind, he’s already reciting all the curse words to exist. A _fucking _disaster.

“Come on Taeyong hyung, let us see so we can disinfect it,” Mark forwards to Taeyong too.

“Besides, how did the insect bite your _neck? _Weren’t you in a sleeping bag?” Donghyuck pries, grinning. Sicheng looks at them confusedly.

“Where?!” Johnny’s ear rang and hurriedly went to Taeyong with glaring eyes. Taeyong was so afraid of Johnny who looked like a charging bull that he didn’t have enough courage to stop him from exposing his… insect bite.

“Holy… fucking… shit,” Johnny tsked at Taeyong with disappointment.

“That’s…. a cockroach bite….” Taeyong was barely able to mutter the lies. At that point he’s just begging for the sea to swallow him whole and live one with the mermaids and sea creatures.

Yuta roared with laughter once he saw the apparent cockroach bite, while Sicheng was trying so hard not to laugh at his captain.

Doyoung and Jaehyun arrives at the van with the tents.

“Hey, we’re done!” Jaehyun exclaims.

  
  
Doyoung cheerfully hands the tent to Johnny, without a clue that his life is about to end too.

“Hey there, cockroach,” Donghyuck greeted Doyoung, earning a roar of laughter from the others except for Johnny, while poor Taeyong was trembling on his feet.

\---

  
The ride back to Seoul was exceptionally awkward. Taeyong voluntarily sat on the other end of the seat and pretended to sleep, note pretended, while Doyoung had his earphones on the whole ride.

It wasn’t until the next day that Taeyong has finally spoken to Doyoung again. How Taeyong has brought himself to sleep that night with a bugging feeling that he hasn’t talked to Doyoung yet was a miracle.

The next morning, the swim team had their practice for the season’s competition. Doyoung lived up to Taeyong’s expectation that he won’t watch their practice. The glee club has also started their rehearsal that afternoon for the winter concert.

Taeyong couldn’t take it. _It_ being not talking to Doyoung for more than 24 hours. It’s eating him up alive, especially the question it bears. What is it with not talking to Doyoung that makes him so bothered, anyway? Is he guilty? Is he so attached to Doyoung that he’s constantly looking for him? Does he… miss him?

Straight up ridiculous. Taeyong found himself outside Doyoung’s apartment that night, waiting for him to return from university.

“Taeyong?” Doyoung sees Taeyong on his doorsteps, with only a coat to keep him warm.

“Hi,” It was silly how he’s suddenly shy.

“You could’ve texted me. Jesus it’s cold here,” Doyoung says as he invited Taeyong inside.

Once inside, Taeyong hands him a box containing the bottle necklace they bought at the beach. It was his excuse to visit Doyoung that night.

  
“Um, look,” Taeyong scratches his head, “I’m sorry about that yesterday,” He says without looking at him.

Doyoung was just staring at him blankly, then takes a seat. “Why are you apologizing?”

Taeyong looks at him briefly, trying to think hard what to say. “Yeah, right?” He almost stammers.

Then he adds with a convincing tone, “It’s just a hickey. We’re adults, no need to fuss about it. We… we were drunk.”

For a second, Taeyong wanted to take his words back. There are two facts and one bluff in what he said. But Doyoung crossed his arms and nodded at him.

“Oh. Hmmm,” Doyoung stopped momentarily, “Right. We were drunk.”

Taeyong bit his lips. It felt _wrong _to hear it from Doyoung. The words were piercing… and false.

Doyoung stood up and removed his coat, “Do you have something else to say?”

  
He doesn’t answer. _That was harsh_, he thought. Doyoung was signaling him to _leave. _It was ridiculous enough that he tried to see Doyoung that night, add that he apologized for something that shouldn’t have been a big deal, now Taeyong doesn’t want to leave?

Finally, Taeyong left his seat and neared Doyoung who was already by the door. “Are you mad?”

Where that question came from, he himself doesn’t know too.

“Mad? Why would I be angry? That doesn’t make any sense, Taeyong. _You _don’t make sense.” Doyoung answers, but his tone says otherwise.

Calm is the word to summarize Doyoung’s personality, but not that moment. He wasn’t exactly shouting, but his voice had… emotions. One that Taeyong has never heard from him.

Taeyong didn’t know how to respond to Doyoung’s passive-aggressiveness.

That time, he knew he wasn’t thinking at all when he did what he did: he cupped Doyoung’s face and kissed him. Strangely, Doyoung didn’t object.

The kiss was somehow _relieving _for Taeyong. It’s like consuming a can of soft drink with an empty stomach- it’s not wrong, but it’s not right either. He pulls away and bit his lip, “I’m sorry.”

Doyoung’s gaze was intense. Taeyong would’ve turned to ashes if his stare was any more powerful. “Why the fuck do you keep on apologizing?”

This time, he’s sure it’s the right thing to do- he presses into Doyoung’s lips again, this time more surely, moving with intensity, and more importantly- they’re sober.

Doyoung was pressed against the wall as Taeyong’s hand found its way to Doyoung’s neck. One thing led to another- their tops are on the floor, and then the both of them had eventually slid down too.

  
“This- this is unsanitary,” Doyoung managed to say thru heavy breaths.

Taeyong, fazed, chuckles lightly, “Let’s move?” He suggests. None of them needed to say where: The next thing they know, they’re on Doyoung’s bed, making out like it’s the only thing that matters.

And it was. Taeyong’s whole body was scorching as he removes his lips from Doyoung’s and sucks into his neck instead.

“A payment,” he whispers.

  
“More like punishment,” Doyoung utters as he scratches Taeyong’s back. The fact that there is no excuses for them to do that now that they’re not intoxicated has already escaped their minds. It was replaced by the overwhelming pleasure they’re feeling at that moment, as Taeyong licks and sucks into his neck, jaw, and chest as if worshipping every inch of Doyoung.

Taeyong felt something beneath him- and it made him curse a loud “fuck” once he confirmed what it is.

He didn’t know if he should proceed. This isn’t exactly a part of their whole scheme, and he’s afraid of the fact that they’re already going the wrong way.

Doyoung wasn’t having any of it. He calls out a low, hoarse “Taeyong,” and suddenly, all of Taeyong’s hesitation was thrown out of the window. Doyoung moaning his name has knocked all the logic out of him, as he goes down and remove what’s left of Doyoung’s garments.

Taeyong was already feeling himself throb too. “Do you have…?”

Doyoung inhales, “I don’t have condoms. You waiting outside my flat and us fucking wasn’t exactly part of today’s plan.”

But Taeyong wasn’t going to let anything stop them that night. So he did what he had to do and went down to Doyoung, who was panting and moaning throughout. Taeyong would go deeper whenever Doyoung occasionally shout his name, causing the latter to moan even louder. 

Taeyong has never been so pleased when himself when he made Doyoung finish. He went back to Doyoung who was flustered and still breathing heavily, trying to recover.

The momentarily triumphant look on his face was erased when Doyoung went on him.

“Doyoung,” he calls weakly. The other just smiles at him as he went down.

  
“Hmm? Do you mind?” He teased.

And of course Taeyong doesn’t. He bit his lip and slowly removed his boxers as a response. Taeyong couldn’t help but whimper and writhe as Doyoung swallows him whole.

Doyoung surely knows what he’s doing. Taeyong has found himself gasping and wanting for more, and his brain has totally shut down when he looked down- and saw Doyoung looking back at him with droopy eyes while sucking on him, as if he himself is enjoying it.

It was a _fucking_ spiritual experience.

  
They both lied in silence soaked in sweat, still gasping for air.

Taeyong breaks the ice, “What do we do now?” Referring to how their relationship would proceed. It’s all that’s bothering him at that time.

They were really never supposed to get that far.

Doyoung answers nonchalantly, “Sleep. You have swim practice tomorrow.”

\--

They had come to an unspoken agreement to not talk about what happened. Not that they really want to be dismissive of it, well yes somehow, but quite frankly, none of them has answers.

And so they resort into resuming with their initial agenda without disclosing the sex. Doyoung continued to attend Taeyong’s practice whenever he can, and they occasionally date publicly just for show.

This time around, they’re actually doing it voluntarily and not just out of obligations. It’s safe to say that they’re ultimately enjoying each other’s presence, one way or another. Taeyong is easy to read, you can tell just by how much he invites Doyoung out and how the sight of Doyoung beside the pool makes him giddy.

Doyoung comes around in a different way.

“No, no, and no,” was his response when Taeyong asked for the nth time if he could sit in in their practices, or if he could just record it for him, or just sing to him once.

“Come on, it’s not like we’re not close friends already,” Taeyong whines. The dinners after Doyoung’s glee club rehearsals has become an addition to their routine. That night, they lazily ate in a Burger King near Doyoung’s apartment.

“You’re going to make me mess it up, Taeyong.”

“Why? It’s not like I’m going to shout during your performance or anything.”

“Your presence is distracting enough,” Doyoung sips into his coke.

Taeyong couldn’t grasp what Doyoung said. How in the world is he distracting?

Then Doyoung gives a question back, “Why are you so eager to go anyway?”

He thinks about it. Why does he want to hear Doyoung sing so much? If it needs to be put into words, he has never had anyone sing for him. Not even an attempt, or as a joke. Sure, Taeyong is quite popular, but for people who doesn’t really know him, Taeyong’s image is actually intimidating, especially when the only person who are courageous enough to be in a relationship with him was Minhyuk, who’s regarded as someone of the equal social relevance.

“For fairness. I let you sit in my practices,” Taeyong simply answers. He finds his reason too embarrassing to admit.

“Fine. I’ll give you a ticket to the winter concert. Take it or leave it.”

Taeyong was too enthusiastic to leave it.

\--

If there’s any positive effect that hanging out with Doyoung has, it’s that he finds Minhyuk slowly slipping out of his mind. It’s as if he doesn’t care anymore.

But it seems that all good things must really come to an end.

**Minhyuk **

_Taeyong. I know you read this.. just let me meet u please_

Just when Taeyong thought he could breathe fresh air again. He doesn’t respond, for the reason that he doesn’t know what satanic move could happen if they do meet up. What if Minhyuk finds the narrow, crooked way back into Taeyong’s heart?

Moving on from your first love and relationship is like sanitizing your hands with rubbing alcohol. It only removes 99% of the germs. Unfortunately for Taeyong, Minhyuk is more than a 1% germ.

**Minhyuk**

_I really won’t stop until we meet._

Taeyong has an option to block him. He knows that. What he also knows is they only run in the same campus, which means there are a lot more ways Minhyuk could get to him. At least ignoring him doesn’t make any harm, right?

For some reasons, he doesn’t feel like telling Doyoung about his situation with Minhyuk. It’s not necessary, and they’re only fake dating anway. But why does Taeyong feel like… he’s being unfaithful?

“Taeyong!” Doyoung snaps him back. He turns his phone off and places it in his pocket.

“Yeah? Sorry,” Tonight, they’re having their dinner in Doyoung’s apartment. The temperature has dropped lower and they’d rather not spend too much time outside.

“I said, clean up the table,” Taeyong obliges while Doyoung does the dishes. No, they’re not living together, Taeyong is just more than willing to help with Doyoung’s chores.  
  
  
They turn the television on and sit huddled together with a nice comfortable blanket afterwards. Usually, Taeyong would head back into his dorm after their dinner, but Johnny has texted him that he’ll be home late, and Taeyong doesn’t really enjoy being alone.

The following events happened fast but not unexpected. Taeyong has found himself on top of Doyoung again, their tongue sloppily doing a tango, and their hands roaming on every part it could touch, not minding all the pillows and blankets falling on the floor. They’re both already so indulged in each other when Taeyong halts.

He fishes something from his pocket.

“Fucking hell,” Doyoung grins when he sees Taeyong’s nice surprise: a condom. “You prepared for this.”

“Just in case,” Taeyong grins back. Doyoung gets up and fetches something from his room and Taeyong’s eyes shot open when he sees a bottle of lube on Doyoung’s hands.

“What? You couldn’t possibly think I’m a virgin.”

That night, they did it on that very sofa, which left them with another chore to do that night.

And that exactly is why Taeyong felt like he was being unfaithful.

\--

Taeyong thinks he could already author a book with the list of excuses he has to escape Johnny. It’s a great thing that Johnny himself is busy, that most of the time he doesn’t even know that Taeyong isn’t in their dorm yet.

  
The sex has come more often than it should, and at that point they’ve already done it in every corner of Doyoung’s apartment. It was consuming Taeyong like a wildfire. He knows that the only excuses he has to make up is for himself: why the fuck are they doing that?

It’s amazing how they do it so often like they’re practicing for the Olympics, but has never really talked about it.

_It’s getting cold, we need to warm each other up, _is what Taeyong tells to himself whenever the high of finishing wears off and the dread hits him. He wonders, is Doyoung thinking about this as much as he does? Or does he doesn’t really need to worry? Are they just fake dating with benefits, is that it?

For the record, they’re really careful when having sex. But one drunken night, all the cautions they were taking was washed out by alcohol.

It was one of the many mornings that the swim team has an early morning practice. Taeyong almost ran late since he spent his Sunday night drunkenly banging Doyoung. Thankfully, he spent the night at Doyoung’s, and so he had a responsible soul to wake him up.

He’s changing into his swimwear in the locker room with Mark when Mark exclaims to him, “Hyung! Sweet Jesus!”

Taeyong was startled with the boy’s shouting. “What?”

Mark gapes at him, “Your neck is a fucking massacre site…”

Taeyong’s hands flew to his neck as if it would save him. He looked down and indeed, the hickeys were all. Fucking. Over. It was under his jaws, on his neck up to his chest, and no way in hell would he have any dignity left if he comes out there with all those evidences.

“Do you have a concealer?” Taeyong asks in panic.

“Hyung… we’re gonna _swim,” _And Taeyong knew he was fucked.

Mark couldn’t help but add, “Someone enjoyed sucking you.”

Taeyong glares at him, “Shut it!”

Just then, Sicheng enters the locker room. Taeyong was silenced in horror.

“Oh,” Sicheng didn’t know what to say, and embarrassed was an understatement to describe Taeyong. He wished he could just sprint right then and scold Doyoung.

Sicheng grabs something from his duffel bag, “Here, it’s waterproof,” he explains, handing a concealer to Taeyong.

Sicheng isn’t a saint, he’s a whole fucking angel. “Thank you so much Winwin. You literally saved my life.”  
  
  
Mark clapped and laughs in amusement, “You actually have that in your bag?”

Sicheng lowers his head and laughs, “Yuta…” He knows he didn’t have to explain further. Taeyong felt like a genius for setting Sicheng up with Yuta, ultimately saving his own ass for couple of times by then.

“I thought you were just… fake dating anyway?” Sicheng asks innocently. Mark falls quiet, knowing he himself knows too much.

Taeyong crinkles his nose, not knowing what to say. “Please don’t tell anyone else. I’ll both owe you one,” and the two were too eager to agree. But of course they both told their own boyfriends. 

\---

That night after they had fucked again, Taeyong told the horror story of what happened earlier to Doyoung. The latter was laughing like a maniac.

  
“You’re not even sorry!” Taeyong exclaims.

“I was drunk! And I bet you liked me sucking your neck too!” Doyoung prods.

Taeyong didn’t answer. _Of course _he did.

Doyoung laughed even harder at Taeyong’s reaction.

  
The after sex is something Taeyong has yearned for. He had always known he likes cuddling, just that he didn’t have so much of it with his past relationship. MInhyuk said he really wasn’t that type.

But Doyoung is. Taeyong has found another humane thing about Doyoung: he’s sugary sweet affectionate. He loves spooning as much as Taeyong does, and so it’s how they both find their selves every time they have sex. Doyoung’s warm, lean body wrapped around him is more than what he imagined heaven would be like.

Doyoung was staring at Taeyong, who’s almost asleep but could feel the stare. “Taeyong.”

“Yeah?”

“Taeyong, I…” Doyoung doesn’t finish his sentence.

“You?”

“I like… I like…” Taeyong opens his eyes and stares back at Doyoung lying on his chest, who then looks away.

Taeyong’s heart was pounding, and it was so loud and hard that he knows Doyoung could hear it. Why is _he _nervous for what Doyoung’s about to say?

Doyoung turns his head away from Taeyong, and Taeyong could feel Doyoung’s hug on him tighten.

“I like Sicheng’s concealer. You should buy one, we might need it.” Doyoung rambles off. Taeyong just smiles and nods, but he had a feeling it wasn’t what Doyoung really wanted to say. He also knows he himself doesn’t have the heart to pry and ask.

\---

**Minhyuk**

_taeyong, pls just. Meet me once. _

_Ill wait for u after ur swim practice._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally! so what did you think of this chapter? :) thanks for reading too, i absolutely love all of your comments!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the weird spacings! i typed this purely on my phone. (might edit if i have the chance)

Taeyong’s convinced he just had one of the best sleeps in his life, cuddled comfortably next to Doyoung. But all good things must come to an end- he wakes up to a dreaded message from his ex. Why does Minhyuk have to ruin everything?  
  
  
  
He was pestered with anxiety the whole duration of their practice that he was called out by their coach. You see, he’s supposed to have lunch with Doyoung after their practice, as usual. The problem is he doesn’t want to tell Doyoung that he’s meeting with Minhyuk, for so many reasons that he cannot name. The only staggering thing he knows is he won’t let Minhyuk see Doyoung.  
  
  
  
In between their breaks, Taeyong hesitantly texts Doyoung:  
  
  
  
** Taeyong Lee**  
  
_hey. cant lunch later,_  
  
<strike>_ i feel sick_</strike>  
  
True, but Doyoung might check on him.  
  
<strike>_will eat with the team_</strike>  
  
_ will lunch with johnny…_  
  
  
  
He hits send.  
  
  
  
** To Whom I Owe My Life**  
  
_ Oh, okay! No worries. Have fun :)_  
  
  
  
The little emoji just made him even guiltier. Doyoung has never used one.  
  
  
  
Taeyong lowers his head as he sees Hyungwon throw him a look. Indeed, after the practice, Minhyuk was waiting for him outside the pool.   
  
  
  
“Taeyong!” And that bitch couldn’t get any louder.  
  
  
  
“What do you want?” Taeyong hisses.  
  
  
  
“Have lunch with me.” The audacity to show up like that and demand a lunch with him?  
  
  
Taeyong was glaring at him, but he knows it’s the only way to get it over with.  
  
  
  
\--  
  
  
  
“Why aren’t you touching your food?” Minhyuk asks with a bright smile on his face.  
  
  
  
Taeyong was genuinely confused of the mood. It was horrifyingly pleasant, which is miles different from how he expected their meeting to be. Especially considering the fact that the last time they’ve seen each other was Minhyuk’s break up message, followed by Taeyong sucking faces with his new beau at a house party.  
  
  
  
But this is Minhyuk. He’ll never make a scene, nor even try to stir one. He always have his sweet personality plastered on his face.  
  
  
  
“Cut the chase, Minhyuk. What bullshit is this?”  
  
  
  
Again, Minhyuk flashes him a sweet, innocent smile.  
  
  
  
It took all of Taeyong’s will for him not to fork Minhyuk’s eyes out.  
  
  
  
“Enjoy your food. This would be your last meal with me.”  
  
  
  
Taeyong stares at him for a moment, unable to process what just came out of Minhyuk’s mouth. Is he really offering him closure? The very same person who just broke off with him in a manner that deserves jail time? Taeyong is more than ready to forgive him. This is exactly what he wants.  
  
  
  
“I’m glad we’re on the same page. I don’t want anything to do with you anymore, Minhyuk,” Taeyong says it with his whole heart- and it’s a freeing feeling. Finally letting all this Minhyuk fiasco go.  
  
  
  
He adds, “You could’ve done this over text, too.”  
  
  
  
The smile on Minhyuk’s face drops. “I’m sorry. That was really low.”  
  
  
“You couldn’t have waited until the next day to drop the bomb. Real classy of you,” It’s all getting out of Taeyong. The pieces of shattered glasses that habitates in his chest is now getting plucked, one by one. It hurts, but it needs to be done.  
  
  
  
“But really, let’s just pretend we’re strangers. Stop texting me, for god’s sake. This would really be the last.”  
  
  
  
“That’s a deal. And you can stop messing with Kim Doyoung now,” Taeyong’s jaw drops, “I was a shitty boyfriend before, I really admit that. But don’t bother Doyoung too much. I loved him. He deserves to be happy.”  
  
  
  
That was the moment Taeyong confirms he’s completely over that asshole. It was a salt to his wound- Minhyuk just adamantly admitted that he was really not into him in their relationship. He doesn’t care at all about him. How does one completely crush another’s soul and not give a flying fuck? It sucks to hear it upfront that all his energy was never returned, but Taeyong knows he needs to get over it.  
  
  
“You really didn’t love me,” Taeyong smirks. It's amazing how its heaps different now. He doesn't give a shit anymore.  
  
  
Minhyuk purses his lips, and that was the answer.  
  
  
“That’s bold. You think I can’t make Doyoung happy?” Taeyong challenges him.  
  
  
  
“Look, Taeyong. You’re really wonderful, I know that, first hand. But I think you’re not really into him, you know? Like, at first I thought you were both just faking it.Honestly I don’t know how you made Doyoung agree to that, if that’s really the case,” Minhyuk sips into his juice, “But if not, then my guess is that you may actually be dating, but you’re just using him to get over me. Let him go.”  
  
  
  
That’s it. Taeyong gets up, “Well you know what Minhyuk? You’re completely, fucking wrong. Because I really like Kim Doyoung, and I’ll make him happy. Get over yourself.”  
  
  
\---  
  
  
  
Taeyong walks out without the heavy load lingering on his chest for months. It’s nice to finally breathe freely.  
  
  
  
He shuts his phone and stays in their dorm the whole day. It was a lot to process. First of all, he just admitted that he likes Doyoung. And it gets even crazier than that, when the first person he reveals this to is his very own asshole ex, who is the reason he is currently with Doyoung in the first place. How did his life get that messy?  
  
  
  
Johnny arrives at dinner time, which reminds Taeyong, he still hasn’t eaten yet.  
  
  
  
“Hey! You’re home early,” Johnny greets him.  
  
  
  
“Johnny, did I do the right thing?”  
  
  
  
He earns a weird look from his friend.  
  
  
  
“Judging from how you’re asking me right now, I think not,” Johnny sets up the television, but Taeyong stands up and shuts it off.  
  
  
  
He stands in front of the television, causing Johnny to gape at him.  
  
  
  
With pleading eyes, Taeyong declares, “I think I’m in love with Doyoung.” He sits on the floor like a lost child.  
  
  
  
“You think?” And here comes the scolding. “This is exactly what I was trying to tell you!”  
  
  
  
Taeyong covers his face.  
  
  
  
Johnny continues, “What gave it away, huh? The making out? The neck sucking?”  
  
  
  
Taeyong looks at him helplessly.  
  
  
  
Johnny squints at him, “Don’t tell me… you already did it?”  
  
  
  
Taeyong sinks his face into his hands once again.  
  
  
  
“Oh for god’s sake!” Johnny was disappointed, but honestly, did it really surprise him?  
  
  
  
“What am I gonna do!”  
  
  
  
“And you’re asking me that?!”  
  
  
  
Taeyong knows it’s a disaster, and he's fully aware that he should’ve already known that from the moment that he realized their plan was conceived out of a drunken, heartbroken night.  
  
  
  
“He’s a really wonderful person,” Taeyong reasons.  
  
  
  
“And really nice! He’s a gem, I know that,” Johnny sighs and sits next to him on the floor.  
  
  
  
“I really like him,” is all Taeyong could say. It was the only truth that matters right now. He’s confirmed it the moment he saw Minhyuk that morning, and no feelings for Minhyuk has resurfaced. All he wanted to do at that moment was to end everything that has to do with his ex.  
  
  
  
Taeyong knows what to say next. “I want to date him for real.”  
  
  
  
“What’s stopping you? We’re adults. Make a move, Taeyong.”  
  
  
  
Right, what’s stopping him? That’s his problem. “What if he doesn’t feel the same? He made it clear the very first time we met. Our relationship wouldn’t go further fake dating,” Taeyong groans.  
  
  
  
The answer is he’s afraid to lose Doyoung. Clearly, he’s already enjoying his set up with Doyoung right now, and he don’t want to ruin what they already have.  
  
  
  
“You know it’s funny,” Taeyong adds, “The first person I told my feelings to is Minhyuk.”  
  
  
  
Johnny sighs and looks at him with concern. He doesn’t really have the energy anymore to be surprised at Taeyong’s bad decisions.  
  
  
"I don’t really think that’s funny…”   
  
  
  
Taeyong laughs and just proceeds, “I met with him earlier for closure. That’s when I realized.”  
  
  
  
“For the record, I’m really glad you’re finally in love with a decent person. Kim Doyoung himself, at that,” Taeyong’s heart fluttered. “It’s up to you, you know that.”  
  
  
  
Johnny stands up, “You wanna get dinner?”  
  
  
  
Taeyong has barely slept that night. Who could, anyway, when you’re already deep in love with the person you’re not supposed to have strings with?  
  
  
  
The following Saturday, he sleeps in. He gathered all the courage he could ever have, because he already decided upon it: He’s confessing to Doyoung. For one, he agrees with Minhyuk- Doyoung does deserve to be happy. More than himself.  
  
  
  
If he’s losing Doyoung through a confession, then fuck it. This is the very least thing he could do for Doyoung- and for himself, after dragging this whole mess to this point.  
  
  
  
That Saturday night, he waits for Doyoung again outside his apartment. The glee club has daily practices now that the winter concert would be held in a week now. The timing is perfect, this is a make it or break it for Taeyong.  
  
  
  
Doyoung arrives at the time Taeyong expected.  
  
  
  
“What are you doing here? The snow is going to fall any minute now. You’re fucking out of your mind,” Doyoung bursts at him.  
  
  
  
But Taeyong couldn’t give a fuck. It certainly felt different to see someone again once you’ve already admitted to yourself that you have feelings for him. Nothing about Doyoung has changed- but Taeyong felt like he's seeing him from his new and upgraded prescription glasses. He was over the moon.  
  
  
  
“Doyoung, I have something to tell you,” Taeyong says enthusiastically. He’s never been this sure before.  
  
  
  
Doyoung glares at him, “Yeah? You finally gonna tell me where you’ve been?”  
  
  
  
Taeyong shuts up- what is Doyoung talking about? “I’ve been in my dorm,” he answers cluelessly.  
  
  
  
“And? Why does your phone needs to be off?”  
  
  
  
Then it dawns him, “Oh.”  
  
  
  
“Oh? That’s all you’re gonna say?” It was really getting cold, and maybe Taeyong was just hallucinating, or snow was really already drizzling behind them. But it doesn’t really matter when Doyoung’s glare is much icier.  
  
  
“I get it Taeyong. I’m not really your boyfriend. I know that,” Doyoung spits the words, “But I at least have the right to get worried. You weren’t with Johnny!”  
  
  
“How did you know?” Taeyong was dumbfounded. He didn't know where to focus. Why was Doyoung acting like that?  
  
  
“Well, mister. I met him._ I _had _lunch_ with him.”  
  
  
  
Taeyong sighs. This is more difficult than he thought, and where this is going is nowhere near what he expected it would be. There's a look of genuine concern on Doyoung's face.   
  
  
  
“I was with Minhyuk.”  
  
  
  
Doyoung snorts, “Minhyuk. You should’ve told me.”  
  
  
  
Taeyong couldn’t read Doyoung’s expression, but he sure does look defeated.  
  
  
  
“No, that’s not it!”  
  
  
  
“So let me guess: you’re going to tell me that we should stop this because you’re back with Minhyuk?” Doyoung lets out a bitter laugh. “How foolish of me to think you were over him.”  
  
  
  
Taeyong couldn't quite comprehend why Doyoung would be so upset about Minhyuk. He admits it was a dumb move, but in his defense, he did that for him.  
  
  
  
Nevertheless, Taeyong blurts out, “Look, let me talk first. I met Minhyuk for closure. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he grabs Doyoung’s hand and figured out it was freezing.  
  
  
  
He continues, “I like you, Doyoung. You’re right, let’s end this fake dating bullshit. It’s so… unnecessary, honestly.”   
  
  
His chest was pounding. The most foolish occurance here is how he has not realized this sooner: Doyoung is everything he needs. He is the very person who deserves all the energy he gave to Minhyuk.  
  
  
  
Doyoung falls silent for a moment, but his cold stare didn’t drop. “No you don’t. You’re just confused,” he pulls his arm away.  
  
  
  
“You don’t get to say that. Do you actually know what you’re saying?” Doyoung sounded... hurt. Why would Doyoung be hurt?  
  
  
  
“I wouldn’t march here on a snowing night if I don’t, Doyoung.”  
  
  
  
Doyoung just shakes his head, “Think it through. I don’t know if you’re drunk, or you’re just being reckless again, but I’m tired. I don’t want to be a mistake. Go home,” Doyoung walks into his apartment.  
  
  
Taeyong knows what he’s doing. He’s sure, and nothing would convince him otherwise. Not even Doyoung. He shouts, just before Doyoung shuts the door, “I’ll prove it!”  
  
  
  
\--  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> perdón, it's shorter than usual. but then again it's an important chapter. lets just say its a transition...
> 
> minhyuk out! stan monsta x. thank u for waiting ♡ i think we're already almost there... o_o 
> 
> [ pls do leave feedbacks! i cant put into words how much i appreciate those! thank u so much! ]


	9. Chapter 9

It felt like the world had made a complete 180 for Doyoung. Taeyong’s out of nowhere confession is a huge, destructive tsunami. He felt like drowning at that moment. Doyoung never wanted to entertain his feelings for Taeyong, especially with the chaotic outcome that he already built inside his head, but Taeyong confessing all of sudden has allowed all the bottled up feelings inside him to explode. It didn't help at all when he found out that Taeyong met up with Minhyuk-- and lied about it. 

To hell with closures. Doyoung ultimately felt betrayed. Not that he allowed himself to have _ feelings _for Taeyong-- he tried blocking that out, making sure his feelings are restrained at all costs, but to no avail.

However, he felt like he was bit in the back. He would’ve been totally fine with Taeyong meeting with Minhyuk, but the fact that he kept it secret made it hurtful. He knows that he isn’t _ really _in a relationship with Taeyong. God knows how much Doyoung tried to remind it to himself like a mantra. But with how they have gotten along recently, a part of Doyoung was sensing, even hoping, that there is a speck of authenticity in their fake relationship. Unfortunately, that hope is brutally killed by Taeyong’s dishonesty.

To say that Doyoung is disheveled is an understatement. His entire mind is in shambles, which rarely happens for Kim Doyoung. He lies on his bed completely wrapped in his sheets, hoping to find peace from his unsorted feelings. He didn’t. He felt like he could break down at any moment. 

He can’t even remember the last time he permitted himself to _ feel _like this. 

Impulsively, he fished out his phone and scrolled through his contacts. Doyoung rings one of his few trusted friends.

  
  
“Hey Ten,” he starts off hesitantly, “just hypothetically, are you busy tomorrow after our practice?”

  
“That’s very random, but no, I’m not busy. What’s the matter?”  
  


Doyoung inhales deeply, “I heard that,” Ten remarked.  
  


“Let’s have dinner tomorrow then.”

  
“Oh for real? Aren’t you supposed to have a date with your boyfriend,” Ten giggles, but the other end doesn’t answer. “Oh. Oh yeah sure,” Ten caught up quickly and covered up the awkwardness.

Just then, Doyoung started sobbing uncontrollably. His tears are rarer than ghosts, and Ten isn’t exactly experienced handling an emotional Doyoung. “Oh my-- oh my are you okay? I mean, of course you’re not. What happened Dons?”  
  


“I’m sorry,” is all that Doyoung could mutter. “I honestly don’t understand either. I’ll end the call, I’m really sorry.” As Doyoung always regarded his feelings as bothersome, he figured it must’ve been double the trouble for other people.

“Hey, you have nothing to apologize for. I’m here for you Dons, okay? It’s fine if you don’t wanna talk about it, I totally understand.” Ten’s comforting words only made him wail even more.

“I’m really sorry,” Doyoung wipes his tears in frustration, “I really appreciate it Ten, thank you.” He ends the call after a while and once again succumbs in his own void. For once, in his cold, dark, room, wrapped in the comfort of his sheets, Doyoung unbottled his emotions and allowed his thoughts to spill. For once, he listened to his suppressed affection. He could only think of one name. 

\--

As much as he is utterly confused, Taeyong is determined to finally set things straight with Doyoung. His feelings are as clear as the day. Unfortunately, things aren’t as easy as he’d like them to be. Doyoung has become even busier with the upcoming concert, and Taeyong himself has been swarmed with swim practices as their season’s competition is just around the corner. 

His practice ended at 6pm the following day, just when Doyoung’s own rehearsal is about to start. It was extra difficult for him to get a hold of Doyoung, so he decided to hang out with his friends instead.

“Something’s off with you,” Donghyuck points out to Taeyong before sipping into his cola. They ended up in a diner near the campus, so Taeyong could hurry back once Doyoung’s practice ends.  
  


Johnny decided to enjoy his salad in silence.

“What? You’re tripping,” Mark reacts, obviously oblivious so he decided to side with his captain. 

It has been a couple of days since his confession, but he still doesn’t know where it stands. Doyoung isn’t answering his texts, and their schedules aren’t helping at all. They didn’t get a chance to see each other yesterday, so Taeyong is hoping to get dinner with him tonight after his rehearsals. 

  
Taeyong just lets out an exasperated sigh.

“See,” Donghyuck points out. Mark nudges him as if reprimanding him to just shut his mouth. 

“But aren’t you going to eat, Hyung?” Mark asks since Taeyong is the only one without a meal. 

“Oh, I’ll have dinner with Doyoung,” Taeyong answers nonchalantly, but the truth is Doyoung still hasn't responded to his dinner invitation.

The group stayed in the diner until 8 pm, which is the time the glee’s rehearsal supposedly finishes. Taeyong, staying true to his words, didn’t touch a single chip until 8 while the others were completely bloated. He tried to entertain himself by playing mindless phone games.

“Right, the Winter Concert’s this Saturday right?” Taeyong looks up from his phone.

“Mhm, I already got a ticket for myself,” Johnny beams.

“I didn’t know you were into that, and I still don’t have one…” Taeyong trails off, remembering that Doyoung promised him a ticket before.

“But I heard it’s already sold out,” Donghyuck comments and Mark nods along.

“Well maybe Doyoung hyung has reserved one for him,” Mark suggests.

Johnny just raises an eyebrow while Taeyong pretends that it doesn’t bother him. After a while, the group decided to leave.

“We’ll be taking off, Hyung. Are you staying here?” Mark asks while Donghyuck and Johnny prepare to leave.

“Yeah, I’ll wait for him, you can go ahead!” 

**taeyonglee**

hi dons :)  
are u done w practice?  
im at Urban Diner  
txt me if u want me to fetch u alright?  
  
ill order for u in advance what do u want?  
  
8:30 pm. _ Maybe they extended practice, the concert’s near anyways. _

9:00 pm. _ Maybe Doyoung’s still busy with other stuff? _ He hasn’t eaten anything since lunch and his stomach is already reminding him of that. _  
  
_

It’s a quarter past nine, still, Taeyong hasn’t eaten anything. In his mind, this waiting is nothing compared to how much he wants to prove his commitment to Doyoung. He was blankly staring at the diner’s transparent door when he received a phone call. For a brief moment, his face lit up with hope.  
  


He looked down and was royally disappointed when he saw who was calling. Nevertheless, he answered.

“Johnny?” 

“Are you still there?” Johnny sounded… concerned?

“Of course, why? Did you leave anything?” Taeyong never allowed his sight to leave the door.

“And you still haven’t eaten?”  
  


“It would be awkward if Doyoung arrived and I’ve already eaten,” Taeyong states as a matter of factly.

Johnny sighs at the end of the line, “Get a take out and go home, Doyoung’s not arriving.”

Taeyong’s shoulders instantly slumped, as he looked away from the door. “What? How did you know?” 

  
“Well, he’s with someone else, Taeyong. I just phoned my--,” Johnny pauses for a while, “someone I know, and he’s currently having dinner with Doyoung. He says Doyoung’s phone is off. Go home and get yourself a take out.”

It finally dawns him-- Doyoung has been avoiding him. His reaction really confused the shit out of him, but this situation confuses him even more. Why is Doyoung avoiding him? His overdue hunger is suddenly gone. His appetite is nothing compared to how heavy his heart feels at the moment. How he managed to walk out of the diner he’s been sitting in for three hours without eating anything, he doesn’t really remember. It doesn’t matter. The night dragged along as he took heavy steps back to the dorm. He didn't even notice how harshly cold the night was until he felt snow on his shoulders. He lazily slumped into his bed once he arrived at his room, without minding Johnny calling him.  
  
Another thought has been bothering him. Who was Doyoung with? _ What’s the fucking matter? _Taeyong doesn’t really know what to feel.There are two things he’s sure of--one is that he’s hurting. The pain penetrates his heart, but most of all, he’s afraid. He’s scared of losing Doyoung, especially now that he has finally admitted his feelings. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY! College has been REALLY hectic for me :_( but the quarantine break has given me time to update so finally! i'm about to finish this story. I really had a hard time continuing because it's been so long!
> 
> anyway, obviously there will still be a next chapter! your thoughts and comments will be GREATLY appreciated, and thank you so much for hanging in there! stay safe everyone, i hope you're all doing fine!
> 
> also: the next chapter might really be the last!


	10. /not YET an update/

(will delete once i update)

Hi! So sorry for being inactive, I went back into the university and didn't expect my first weeks to be hectic!

In return for your waiting, I'll be posting a long and final chapter on Saturday, Sept 28! I'm already working on it. Thank you so much!

Just writing this update to tell everyone i'm not abandoning this story, haha. Love lots!

**Author's Note:**

> ty for reading! update every 3-5 days. 
> 
> how is it so far? i'd appreciate any feedback! <3
> 
> fun fact:  
casting minhyuk is inspired by minhyuk prasing doyoung and vice versa.


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